A Very Lucky Girl

I missed blogging last week due to vacation, but I caught up on week eight's episode before Hannah hit hometowns!  This week kicks off in Westlake Village, California -- the home of Pilot Peter. Coincidentally, he lives just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Bachelor Mansion. Hannah runs and jumps into his arms before he introduces her to his fancy car, which he affectionately refers to as “baby.” Hannah wastes no time in digging around his center console, where she finds a tin of Altoids and a condom. Peter is visibly embarrassed, but tries to save face by announcing he is safe in everything he does. They arrive at an airport and board a tiny plane because Peter is looking for a copilot for life.  He flies them over Bachelor mansion, where they first met. And where she met all 29 of her other recent boyfriends. The couple snuggles in the cockpit as Peter flies over his family’s home and then safely grounds the aircraft in time to kick back and talk about their pote...

It’s hometowns week, y’all! I’m always a little bit bored by hometowns because it’s essentially the same conversation 4x with different families, but let’s go ahead and dive in. Colton plans to ask four different fathers for their blessing on proposing to four different daughters, so obviously that’s going to go over well. But first things first, Colton has to shower sans soap and wrap his towel extra low on his hips to stare pensively in the mirror. He packs his overnight bag, double checking that his Axe body spray is tucked into a crevice. It’s finally time to hit the road and this virgin’s first stop is Virginia! Fredericksburg, VA Caelynn is anxious to introduce Colton to her favorite small-town haunts. They climb aboard her transportation of choice -- a horse drawn carriage -- as Caelynn starts pointing out landmarks. Like the place where her “mom drew people’s blood for a living.” There is a word for that career -- it’s a phlebotemist and Tayshia is one also. Howev...

When we left last week in Vietnam, Colton was questioning everything. He was just told by 3 different women to be on the lookout for those that aren’t ready for marriage. Post rose ceremony, Colton continues to melt down over Go-Pro cam. He reiterates that he is experiencing his biggest fear and is truly having a WTF moment. With hometowns coming up, Colton is feeling the pressure to make the correct decisions moving forward. Luckily, the group is heading to Denver, Colorado (Colton’s hometown). The women are excited to be back in the USA and Colton is reunited with his dog, Sniper. He also has a reunion with fellow Denver Bachelor bro, Ben Higgins, at a bar where they sip on...water? Ben quotes Sheryl Sandberg and advises Colton to “lean in” to the relationships he has and be intentional about them. The women meander around the streets of Denver before meeting up with Colton and Sniper at a local park. Colton announces that there will be roses on every single date this week bef...

We've made it to hometowns, people. Breathe a massive sigh of relief that you only have to see Arie on your screen for approximately 2-3 more weeks. Arie rocks a bland button down and drives a sports car on his way to his hometown date with Kendall (what's new?). They kick off the date in a taxidermy room, which I later learned due to some social media room is not actually her collection. Second sigh of relief, she's not nearly as crazy as ABC makes her out to be. However, we still know she's not your average girl as she suggests stuffing a rat carcass for their romantic activity. They each take a skin and start to stuff. Arie frantically looks around for an escape, but resigns himself to their rat play.  In the culmination of creepy, they place their rats in an art and craft project resembling Paris and make the dead stuffed animals kiss. I knew at that moment there was no way Arie would keep this chick around.  After scrubbing the formaldehyde stink off their hand...

Welcome to Tuscany! The land of pizza, pasta, prosecco and off-the-shoulder shirts. The women take in the leaning tower of Pisa before encountering Chris Harrison to learn that this week will not culminate in a rose ceremony. Instead, there will be 3 one on one dates and a group date where roses will be handed out. It's the week before hometowns and Arie needs to decide which parents he'd rather face.  They check into the Renaissance Italy and find the first date card:  Becca K, let's fall in love under the Tuscan sun.  Apparently not one to learn a lesson from the car debacle in Paris, Arie pulls up in a vintage red car. Fortunately for him, this one runs, and they head to Barga in search of their missing passion. After wrecking cars back in American and footing Jenna's open bar bill, ABC is strapped for cash so there is nothing fancy planned for Becca's date. Instead, they plan to walk around and maybe have a picnic.  After strolling through alleys and purcha...