A Very Lucky Girl

SO DO I. And that's the best part about it! I am in awe of my own awesome-ness. I recap a television show every week, but let's BIRTHDAYCAP!  The hours leading up to midnight on July 1 passed.so.slowly.  I donned a striped dress and headed to Megan's, ready to begin the festivities. Hannah, Megan, and I headed down to Edna's, a bar in Oklahoma City famous for their "lunchbox" drinks. We arrived a few minutes to midnight and were just in time for me to down a free Scooby Snack birthday shot. I followed the shot with a Lunchbox, an Adios Motherf*cker, a Fireball, and another free Washington Apple Shot from super short David The Bartender.  And this is when I learned strangers in bars will ask the most inappropriate questions. I quickly caught onto the "turn and ignore" strategy.  Leaving Edna's in my more than slightly inebriated state, I mistook a taxi for a cop and grew nervous. I don't know what about, I'M 21 AND INVINCIBLE OBVIOUSLY...

I've recently been consumed by the idea of selfless love. Two different books I've been reading have a theme of love, "The End of the Affair" by Graham Greene and "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. All of the characters in Greene's novel are depicted as selfish humans only capable of loving in a way that's easy for them. They love in a greedy form versus loving for someone else's benefit.  Miller recognizes the worldly perspective on love as being able to die for something or someone. But he then counters with, "living for something...is the hard thing. Living for something extends beyond fashion, glory, or recognition." Living for someone is the ultimate sacrifice because it involves daily death to your own selfish desires.  I've been trying to practice real love. It doesn't come naturally. My first instinct is to look out for myself and my best, or easier, interests. I need to actively listen to what my friends ...

Someone once said that stupidity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I'm pretty stupid sometimes. I make lots of mistakes. I disregard excellent advice from well-meaning friends. But I'm insanely stubborn, and something in my brain convinces me that this time, this time, I'll get it right. I'm an egotistical know-it-all and it frustrates me. I think that I can successfully sail through life alone. I SO can't. But I think I've finally learned (at least THIS lesson, I'm sure there are coming attractions/distractions). I'm also sure that my friends are skeptical in a "yeah, right, I've heard that before" way. Which they should be, I haven't backed up my declarations with action (or inaction might be more appropriate for the situation). But I'm resolute in this end. Finally. He didn't respect my words, why should I reward him with my valuable time? (he cut into some serious How I Met Your ...