A Very Lucky Girl

I seriously have not been unstressed since 2012. I have felt lately like I cannot catch a break ever. I can't remember the last time my face was zit free, because I'm constantly anxious about everything.  On the way to Houston last Friday, I stopped in Madisonville at Bucee's to fill up Carson's gas tank. For those of you uninformed, Carson is my Toyota Matrix, aptly named because "he's a car, son!" *insert gangster hand signs here*. I was about an hour and a half from Houston, and I distractedly locked my wallet, phone, and keys in the car. So I wasted an hour hanging out near Texas' cleanest restrooms with some very nice people, waiting on AAA and my grimy locksmith savior.  Once in Houston, several instances went south. The Wifi didn't work as it was supposed to, my blinds came crashing down, just missing my head, when I tried to adjust the sunlight blazing through my window, the angle of the garage was a little tight and as I tried to miss t...

Delay isn't denial. It's often hard to accurately express what I'm feeling. I've been working at it. It's difficult to enunciate what I need from people. Something about putting musical notes to words makes them easier to understand and connect with.  Winter has come back again Feels like the season won't end My faith is dying tonight And I won't try to pretend I've got it all figured out That I don't have any doubts I've got a busted heart, I need You now. I'll show them I'm willing to fight And give them the best of my life So we can call this our home Lead me, cause I can't do this alone I got a front row seat To the longest wait And I just can't see Past the things I pray Today. I don't know, I don't know What tomorrow may hold But I know, but I know That You're holding it all So no matter what may come I'm gonna fix my eyes on all that You are 'Til every d...

On my bed you can find several practical blankets, 3 pillows (one for sleeping on, the others as barriers to any monsters lurking in the closet), aaaaand one, rather old, childhood "blankie". Yep, I've slept with my baby blanket for 20 years and counting. I feel like the fact that it isn't a stuffed animal makes it almost acceptable. It's just something to keep me warm! If you ignore the fact that it would only cover my torso if I used it as it was intended...  Instead I ball it up and hold it close to me as I sleep.  I'm not entirely positive on why I have this attachment to a childhood relic. But it's been a constant through all 5 states, changing relationships, crying jags, bookworm nights, poor-decision hangovers, and Addison's-induced puking (it has been washed I swear!). It's like having a non-interactive pet/baby that requires zero responsibility from me.  I don't know when I'm going to evict my cuddle buddy from the typical s...