A Very Lucky Girl

Craig Sjodin--ABC It's time to meet the parents! Garrett and Nevada are up first. Even though he's a medical sales rep, he puts Becca to work on the farm. His family owns an agricultural business and today they are planting tomatoes. Becca doesn't have the timing quite down so they move onto planting a rose bush so Garrett can bring her roses anytime he wants. They sit for a champagne picnic and bring up Garrett's divorce for the 80th time. He thinks it will be harder for him to bring someone home to his family now so he wants to prepare Becca for the Nevada Inquisition.  At his parents house, they sit down for dinner. Big Sis Allison is the first to ask to speak with Garrett. He describes his initial attraction to Becca and their strong connection. Allison is evidently still traumatized by what Garret went through previously and squeaks out through tears that she is concerned and protective. I needed subtitles so we can't be 100% sure of what she's sayi...

We've made it to hometowns, people. Breathe a massive sigh of relief that you only have to see Arie on your screen for approximately 2-3 more weeks. Arie rocks a bland button down and drives a sports car on his way to his hometown date with Kendall (what's new?). They kick off the date in a taxidermy room, which I later learned due to some social media room is not actually her collection. Second sigh of relief, she's not nearly as crazy as ABC makes her out to be. However, we still know she's not your average girl as she suggests stuffing a rat carcass for their romantic activity. They each take a skin and start to stuff. Arie frantically looks around for an escape, but resigns himself to their rat play.  In the culmination of creepy, they place their rats in an art and craft project resembling Paris and make the dead stuffed animals kiss. I knew at that moment there was no way Arie would keep this chick around.  After scrubbing the formaldehyde stink off their hand...

Welcome to Tuscany! The land of pizza, pasta, prosecco and off-the-shoulder shirts. The women take in the leaning tower of Pisa before encountering Chris Harrison to learn that this week will not culminate in a rose ceremony. Instead, there will be 3 one on one dates and a group date where roses will be handed out. It's the week before hometowns and Arie needs to decide which parents he'd rather face.  They check into the Renaissance Italy and find the first date card:  Becca K, let's fall in love under the Tuscan sun.  Apparently not one to learn a lesson from the car debacle in Paris, Arie pulls up in a vintage red car. Fortunately for him, this one runs, and they head to Barga in search of their missing passion. After wrecking cars back in American and footing Jenna's open bar bill, ABC is strapped for cash so there is nothing fancy planned for Becca's date. Instead, they plan to walk around and maybe have a picnic.  After strolling through alleys and purcha...

Recap Episode 7: If you remember, in episode 6, JoJo was allowed an extra rose to save her from deliberation between James T and Alex. In episode 7, James T and Alex go home. JoJo could have saved us all two hours of our life if she had made that decision in episode 6. All of America saw it coming: recap complete.  Recap Episode 8: Hometowns! Chase is up first. They sit on a mountain in Colorado and discuss his broken and imperfect family. He is a child of divorce, and thus it is difficult for him to throw the L word around like some former athletes on this show. He takes her to his cute little home and ding dong Dad arrives. Dad is adorable and tries to explain Chase's walls to JoJo. Chase tells Dad that he is ready to put his heart on the line. Next on the agenda-dinner at Mom's. Mom takes some time with JoJo to discuss how Chase is crazy about her and how it is far easier for him to express his love through actions rather than words. JoJo is still dying to hear the L ...

Fair warning: It's looking like a short recap week. I wrote five mini papers this weekend in order to make time for the two mega papers I have due in the next three weeks. So I'm nearly out of words. Plus, Tierra, her wonky eyebrow, and her sparkle are long departed. And Sarah, like her left forearm, is nowhere to be found. So what else is there to write for? NOTHING, I TELL YOU. Not to mention, hometown week is way too emotional to really make snarky comments about. But believe me, I tried. Houston, Texas is Sean's first stop to meet AshLee's parents. She brings her ugly, yappy dog named Bailey on a picnic and Sean is chauffeured to the site by a gas-guzzling SUV. AshLee and Sean bond over their pastor-kid status and then make out with extra tongue to really seal the irony. And then AshLee says the words that will likely send her home in the next few weeks: "Sean is gonna be the man to protect my heart." Wrong, please try Kasey from Ali’s seas...

The introduction to the episode of Hometown dates makes everything look seventeen times more dramatic. Emily starts off spending time with Ricki while rocking a skull shirt. So motherly! I thought Ricki was about 8 or 9. She acts 4 or 5. Cameras don't bring out the best in her. Chris: Chicago, Illinois The guys finally get to wear the pants in the relationship and plan the dates. Chris mentions them having a fantastic life in Chicago with Emily, but if I'm not mistaken Emily has said several times that she doesn't want to leave Charlotte. Chris makes it clear that he's Polish. Apparently the rule of thumb when meeting the parents is to raise your voice several octaves to indicate extreme enthusiasm. I think Emily thinks of Chris as a son. She is afraid for him to get his heart broken, even though she is the one in control of that. Chris' sister lets Em know what's up and tells her to let him go if he isn't the one. Sound advic...