A Very Lucky Girl

Just one, actually. A new one! I am an officially employed member of the Sandy Beaches team. I quit my position at Fuzzy's because I decided life is too short to work until 4 in the morning every weekend.  I was looking for nearly a month before I found a great new challenge in Sandy Beaches. I've never worked at a tanning salon before so I constantly feel a little mentally slow when trying to finagle the computer and speak the lingo. Low, bronze, premium, and 360 beds were all the same to me until I started a week ago. Now I can tell you how long you should spend in each bed, the difference between a maximizer and a bronzer, and sign you up for a monthly membership (only after five phone calls to another coworker to make sure I'm typing in the correct codes, of course).  I was terrified to close by myself the first time, but I managed and feel more confident now since the initial lone shift is complete!  I'm looking forward to camaraderie with new people and steady p...

The final day was upon me. I woke up to no alarm and a last breakfast of bacon and sourdough rolls. A stranger in the Windjammer mistook me for a high schooler (typical) and I quickly corrected him. I read some more Bleak House on Deck 12, while Tyler finished Alter Ego by Craig Groeschel. This was my last shot for the perfect tan to prove that I sprung broke (the past tense of Spring Break) to perfection.  We alternated between the cold pool and the boiling hot tub, marveling at the water-ception. We were in a vat of water, in the middle of the ocean. Just let that sink in. I spent several afternoon hours trying to fit all of my clothes back in my suitcase, the hardest game of Tetris I've ever played. It never fails, every vacation I end up with more luggage at the end. I blame it on the shot glasses that I collect from every destination.  I took a nap, collected my bravery, and ordered two entrees at dinner without shame. In the words of Jesus, this was the last supper a...

The thing about inner staterooms on board a ship is that they are extra dark. It could be 3 PM and it's as dark as if it were 3 AM. So on Monday morning I woke up well-rested around 9:30 AM and immediately scouted out a lounge chair in a sunny corner of Deck 11. I regret to inform you that I did not don any sunscreen on this day....which in hindsight was a poor decision, especially considering I spent approximately 5 hours laying out. I do this every year. Foregoing sunscreen for the inaugural tan time, but then religiously applying SPF 4 for the remainder of the trip. During one of those sun soaked hours on deck a busybody chair neighbor pointed out my jewelry: "I notice you have a medical alert bracelet on, what's wrong with you?" Several things actually, sir....Are we talking mentally? Physically? Emotionally? Narrow your nosiness, if you please. I stealthily crept away from the gentleman and continued to furiously read the novel Sharbear supplied me with before m...

Americans will take any holiday and turn it into a drinking fest. Even ones that aren't ours. Exhibit A: Cinco de Mayo. And during the summer Memorial Day, Flag Day, The Fourth of July, Canada Day, etc become another day on the calendar to mark with a beer, a tan, and some Zac Brown Band while the stars and stripes fly subtly in the background.  I had to work from 4 to close at Jamba to celebrate the day (somehow people don't think "hell yeah Amurrikahh, let's grab a Strawberries Wild!") and was frustrated about it. But then I thought about what I was really sacrificing. Maybe some pool time, nap time, or blogging time. But that is a ludicrous comparison when contrasted to what the men and women honored on this day sacrificed. I could surely blend smoothies for 5 hours without complaint.  I entertained the idea of being in the Air Force ROTC program at Tulane or TCU during my senior year of high school. I decided on Air Force because planes are the coolest. Fl...

Disney bequeathed some unrealistic notions of what an ideal girl is like, but as a result I am positive I would be unstoppable with these characteristics. Belle's heart. She refuses to let first impressions ruin an entire relationship. Her understanding and influence transforms the beast into someone lovable. And I'd be okay with endlessly twirling in that butter yellow dress. Pocahontas' tan. I am addicted to being bronze. My goal might be more readily met if I was Native American...but since I'm stuck being Caucasian I'll continue to sizzle for hours in the sun by day and smear aloe vera on by night. Ariel's smile. She's always got this coy turn to her lips, despite being a ginger and voiceless to boot. I bet she never had braces. Cinderella's innocence. Not to be confused with blondness, Cinderella doesn't seem quite part of this world (Ariel reference, yes). Her spirit is unmarred by false intentions, making her irresistible t...

Got my skin cancer on today. 2 solid hours of soaking up those gloriously delicious rays. I wish I could say I was really productive during my time outside, but instead I stared up at this gorgeous sky, speechless. Clear blue and cloudless-which is why I am sporting some truly sexy burn lines right now. Roasted cleavage? Check. Nike shorts line? Got 'em.  But I don't regret a minute of my sunshine soaked afternoon because I got some quality thinking time in. Scrolling through Tumblr the other day I stumbled upon a really depressing statement, "People think that they are 10 times more attractive than they actually are." Yikes. I'm certainly not saying that I am under the impression that I'm America's Next Top Model (maybe runner-up? JOKE), but neither do I think I need to be the star of Extreme Makeover: Plastic Surgery Edition. Paul gave me some pretty sweet green eyes (did you know that only 2% of the world's population has these olivine co...