A Very Lucky Girl

Words are weird. I can sit down and type out strings of words that mean something to me in record time. I trip over my fingers because those words have been inside me for so long and I'm anxious to spill my feelings in a tangible, manageable, form. But when I notice I haven't blogged in a while and it's time for a new post I am often stumped. Not because my blog posts are meaningless (although I did write about Tinder...so you be the judge), but because I'm nervous to share all of me with all of you (John Legend reference YES). Maybe you won't like what I have to say. Maybe you will criticize it. Maybe you'll think differently of me. Writing is risky. Writing is permanent. I need only to scroll back on my own blog to find posts with words I wouldn't write now. My words are permanent outward expressions of a constantly changing person. The words I'm currently most worried about are my two essays for the Fulbright ETA funding. I need to write a personal...

Delay isn't denial. It's often hard to accurately express what I'm feeling. I've been working at it. It's difficult to enunciate what I need from people. Something about putting musical notes to words makes them easier to understand and connect with.  Winter has come back again Feels like the season won't end My faith is dying tonight And I won't try to pretend I've got it all figured out That I don't have any doubts I've got a busted heart, I need You now. I'll show them I'm willing to fight And give them the best of my life So we can call this our home Lead me, cause I can't do this alone I got a front row seat To the longest wait And I just can't see Past the things I pray Today. I don't know, I don't know What tomorrow may hold But I know, but I know That You're holding it all So no matter what may come I'm gonna fix my eyes on all that You are 'Til every d...