A Very Lucky Girl

I have mixed feelings about my visit to the endocrinologist on Tuesday afternoon. It was a concoction of good news and meh news. I learned I have lost weight, which I attribute to the fact that I physically cannot eat Pringles without Nat, although the mile walk to and from campus every morning may have something to do with it as well. According to the bloodwork, my thyroid levels are still doing well and though hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism could arise at any time, now is not that time and I am thankful. I confessed some not-so-wise health decisions I made in Europe, earning a glare and a "we learned our lesson speech" from my doctor (who I LOVE by the way-she is the most thorough lady on the planet).  I have been really forgetful about taking my 2.5 mg hydrocortisone at night, pretty much since January, but I haven't been feeling any unfortunate effects from it. However, it does leave me with only 17.5 mg of hydrocortisone in my system daily, which is rather on t...

I've been back in the States since May 27th and I've been to the dentist's office four times in the span of those 17ish days. In my book, that's rather excessive. The result of these appointments was a wisdom teeth extraction surgery on Tuesday morning..."oh hey welcome back to America! We'll be ripping open your gums and viciously stealing your teeth."  So that happened and I'm currently in recovery mode, which has been a roller-coaster ride of extreme pain and Netflix bliss.  I was a little nervous about going under anesthesia. The only surgery I had before was the gall bladder removal when I was about 5 days from death and mostly unconscious. I was afraid of what it would be like to be fully aware of being put to sleep.  This was also a new stressful experience to combine with Addison's Disease. I asked my trusty FB forum for their input and called my endocrinologist. I spoke with the oral surgeon about any of her previous experience operatin...

Do you remember where you were on January 17, 2011? I was in an ICU bed at an Oklahoma hospital, recently diagnosed with Addison's Disease , missing a gall-bladder, and weighing in at 98 pounds. I was told that I wasn't the healthy 18-year old I thought I was. I wasn't the strong athlete I used to be. I wasn't the vivacious college student, full of promise and plans. I was a broken hospital patient, depressed and seemingly hopeless. Coming to terms with a chronic illness is weird. I don't like to think that who I am is fueled by how I feel or how many pills I'm currently popping. I hate the memory loss of most of my senior year and TCU semester. Friends will reminisce, "hey remember when?!" No. No, I don't. And I really hate the unknown. The questions. The why me? How does this disease even exist? Why does it target who it does? No one knows. There aren't answers for those questions. For someone who likes to know everything NOW, no an...

In a dentist's office right down May Avenue...the power went out. In the middle of my routine cleaning.  I had handily scheduled my dentist appointment right after my endocrinologist appointment--so adult of me!--in an effort to get all business-y things done before my imminent Scotland departure (39 days away).  I was on an endocrine high, my ACTH levels were at 99 (the most normal they've ever been since I've been diagnosed), my doctor had willingly written a note allowing me to travel with drugs, and my TSH levels were non-hypothyroid, still!  So I drove to the dentist with elevated hopes, maybe this next appointment wouldn't be so bad, maybe  she wouldn't poke my gums to the point of bleeding, maybe this time she'd believe my lies, "yes, I floss twice a day!" Okay, once. Okay, never.  And it was going better than most of my dentist appointments go! I love my hygienist, she's so sweet and always asks me questions when her hands AREN'T in...

Confession: Sometimes I feel truly blessed to have Addison's Disease. For one, it's fairly manageable, and for two (the best reason), I have met some amazing people through this connection! I use "met" loosely because I have yet to physically meet any of these women, but they all sound so wonderful on social media! And I hope one day I can hug each one and compare drug prescriptions and medical alert jewelry while swapping ER stories. Alycia: I found Alycia on Instagram when I scrolled through the hashtag #addisonsdisease last year. After wading through endless pictures of dogs (fun fact: dogs get Addison's Disease and I swear the world knows more about the canine disorder than the human one. Nope, not bitter), I stumbled upon a picture of a race to raise awareness for Addison's Disease. Being a runner, I was instantly intrigued and decided to creepily comment and ask Alycia about it. She informed me that it was in Australia, where she lives, so that was a ...

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."-Someone Really Smart I honestly don't remember who said the above, but it resonated in my head all day last Monday while I mulled over a possibility. It was a possibility that I was hesitant to share with anybody, because what if it didn't pan out? But I realized that the people in my life are here to share in the joys and the disappointments.  So here goes *virtual deep breath*, I sent in a piece to the Glamour essay contest.  Please ignore the blurry: I was struggling for breath on a 15.0 incline and 4.0 speed during my treadmill workout. I thought, what could it hurt? And took my hands off the heart rate tracker for a split second to snap a photo of a possible future.  I debated with myself all afternoon, but finally forced myself to submit a very revised version of my Addison's Disease essay that evening. I'm a realist; I don't expect anything to come out of my meager offering to the written wo...

I found a paper that I wrote last fall about Addison's Disease for my Modern Monsters writing class. I have a hard time describing or admitting to this autoimmune disorder. It's hard to see myself as less than perfect and not be able to change it. And it's especially difficult to let others see this weakness, as it's not easily understood.  I panted up the stairs, dragging the last of the suitcases, and wiping the Texas heat from my brow with “riff ram bah zoo, give ‘em hell TCU” emblazoned across my purple shirt. It was August 17, 2010, and this was move-in day. I had finally graduated that May and my parents were sending me off into the real world at Texas Christian University. I could not wait to start this independent portion of my life and lounged across my newly lofted bed in anticipation of my roommate’s arrival, rushing a sorority, and the first week of classes.  Fast-forward two months. I was a habitually messy roommate, initiated Alpha Delta Pi member, and...

A week ago Saturday found me aimlessly scrolling the Internet. And the new timeline feature on Facebook (which I was at first very much against, but then finally gave in to because of my uncontrollable lust for a cover photo. I also wanted to delete all embarrassing status updates and pictures from previous years before they became public) is truly conducive to heavy duty creeping. I found myself on Marianne's profile (a friend from North Carolina that I still keep in touch with) meandering between the months in 2010. During that period I wasted endless amounts of time, therefore explaining the multiple wall posts from me adorning her profile.  In November 2010 I coated her profile with videos to make up for our lack of skype dates. One of them broke my heart, and I teared up watching it. For one, I looked so sick. Unbelievably skinny, I didn't even sound like myself. I could hear the desparation in my own voice as I explained to her how my life was falling apart and that I ...

I graduated May 2010 and received, among many other generous gifts, a copy of Michael J. Fox's book, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future" from my Uncle Bill and Aunt Jill. I tossed it aside, it masqueraded as a cliche graduation gift and I had checks to cash! Until a few weeks ago it sat on my bookshelf at home, nestled between the other books that I mean to eventually get around to when reading "Little Women" for the zillionth time loses it's appeal. On the way to school after a weekend at home I snatched it from the shelf, intending to select "Blue Like Jazz" (because I still haven't read that one yet either...Sorry Dad). I didn't notice my mistake til I arrived at my dorm and didn't think anything of it, merely placing it in the back of the closet, easy access for the next major procrastination nation party. Saturday afternoon found me lounging in the grass, desperately soaking up the sun  and turning to the first ch...

The whole concept is ridiculously cliche, but I think younger (high school freshman) me needed to read this: Hey Tay, You're 20 at this moment in 2012 (eh fine, 19.75. psh, technicality). But right now, you are 14, about to start high school at St. David's School in Raleigh, North Carolina. Don't be scared, I already did all this. It's totally not a big deal, but I want to provide you with an inside scoop to avoid some drama, heartbreak, and unexpected events. Cherish your freshman year. It will fly by, and you'll be leaving, for good, to the distant land of Beaumont, Texas in the summer. (Learn to spell it before you write your parents a note wishing them luck on the interview in "boemont." They won't let you live it down EVER. People don't ride horses to school, don't embarrass yourself by asking). Don't cry too much, it's time to leave, time to see who else is out there to meet. You'll stay close to the people that matt...