A Very Lucky Girl

How suite it is that we’ve made it this far, team. To borrow an overused term from ABC, it’s truly been a journey. Hannah and her four boyfriends arrive in Crete, Greece. They’ve had their STD tests, refreshed Hannah’s birth control supply, and packed their Trojans. It’s time to take these relationships to the next level.  Pilot Pete is lucky number 1. Before we dive into his date, let’s discuss the bomb that Enews dropped on us yesterday. Precious and innocent Pete had a girlfriend until he dumped her to go on the Bachelorette. In his (slight) defense, Pete dumped her without an explanation once he found out he was cast, however they continued to keep in touch until he left for filming. He also neglected to share why he was breaking up with her, so this poor gal found out about his role on the show with the rest of the nation. Our golden boy’s reputation is tarnished today, but let’s travel back to simpler times in Greece before we knew this terrible truth.  Hann...

I missed blogging last week due to vacation, but I caught up on week eight's episode before Hannah hit hometowns!  This week kicks off in Westlake Village, California -- the home of Pilot Peter. Coincidentally, he lives just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Bachelor Mansion. Hannah runs and jumps into his arms before he introduces her to his fancy car, which he affectionately refers to as “baby.” Hannah wastes no time in digging around his center console, where she finds a tin of Altoids and a condom. Peter is visibly embarrassed, but tries to save face by announcing he is safe in everything he does. They arrive at an airport and board a tiny plane because Peter is looking for a copilot for life.  He flies them over Bachelor mansion, where they first met. And where she met all 29 of her other recent boyfriends. The couple snuggles in the cockpit as Peter flies over his family’s home and then safely grounds the aircraft in time to kick back and talk about their pote...

We last left Hannah Brown and Chris Harrison sitting fireside in LA at the Bachelor mansion, recapping a season that I’ve already recapped. Somehow, Harrison and Hannah have hopped on a plane to be back in Riga, Latvia in order to shoot some real content.  Hannah stands in a cathedral and reflects on her journey thus far. She is ready for a new week and a fresh start -- this is approximately the 9 billionth fresh start this season for those keeping score. Hannah has a good feeling for Riga and what it can bring (nudity, if the previews are to be believed).  Her suitors wander Riga and marvel at the romance of the city. Tyler C is wearing a light-washed jean jacket from the local Latvian Goodwill, but we won't hold it against him. A knock sounds at the hotel door and reveals a date card on a stool.  “Garrett, can I trust our love? Love, Hannah.” Luke is verging on apoplectic and we’ve only been in Latvia for about 8 minutes. He is immensely jea...

Last week, we were left hanging in Scotland on the worst date ever. Hannah and Luke are pretending to eat dinner and Hannah picks up the date rose, only to say “I can’t give you this rose.” Somehow, Luke is confused. He’s frustrated with how their day went and says he will take full ownership of it (but doesn’t describe what “it” is that he’s taking ownership of…) and move on. Hannah repeats that it just doesn’t make sense to give him a rose tonight. Luke is stunned -- “so I go home tonight?” Yes, Luke, that’s the general idea. Hannah confirms this and asks him to please respect that as she gives him a goodbye hug. Luke is shocked, it never crossed his mind that he would ever go home because everyone loves him! Luke needs his hearing checked as he is determined to fight for her. Instead of climbing in the rejection SUV as instructed, he tracks down Hannah in the library. She immediately asks “what are you DOING?”, but deaf Luke is undeterred. He yells that he wants to move mou...