A Very Lucky Girl

"From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2.  We started a new thing in our Junior Girls CRU bibly study on Monday nights. We memorize someone's favorite verse every week. Last week was Erin's. Another translation changes it to "as my heart is overwhelmed," a truly accurate phrase for what I've felt lately. I am an unapologetic Christian cynic. I know the right answers, I've been taught them since I could talk.  But the right answers seem so trite to me when I hurt. They make me mad. It's not that easy. "All things work out how God wants them to." Cool. Good for Him. But they aren't working out how I want them.  "Well, you're supposed to want God's will." But isn't He also supposed to do what is best for me? How is constant pain good for me? "Trials make you better." I've had my fair share, thanks.  The rig...

This is the first Valentine's day that I will participate in as part of a couple, but I have never actually loathed this day of expressing affection. Because I am always surrounded by people that I love and that love me, even when it's not a romantic sort of love. Even last year I let Ke$ha speak for me on Facebook and said "I'm in love, alright, with my crazy beautiful life." Her words are still true. Who can hate Valentine's day for the general message of love it sends to ALL? Plus, there's candy.  So. much. candy. Others scoff at the chocolate roses and candy hearts appearing in Walmart aisles in mid-January, but I say WELCOME. BRING THE CANDY COMA ON.  I have a weakness for conversation hearts. However, the inscriptions have really gone to hell. luv me? marry me? yes? u rock? I feel like the chalky morsels are meant for illiterate married couples living in the 70s.  A very happy heart day to you from A Very Lucky Girl. Please accept these virtua...

For so much. So, so much. The blessings in my life so outweigh any negative, major OR minor. I think the number one thing I am thankful for is drugs. I'm talking those little 5mg hydrocortisone tablets, 25mg DHEA pills, tiny halves of fludrocortisone, and the synthroid that I'm slowly getting weaned off of (wean-hate that word. Searched for another and came up blank). My drugs are awesome and amazing and I am so thankful for medical insurance and for parents that are willing to shell out cash to prolong and maintain my fulfilling life. I'm thankful for a heart that's sometimes too sensitive, but one that is often attuned to the feelings of others. I'm thankful for legs that are learning the nuances of running all over again. I'm thankful for people that enrich my existence everyday. I'm thankful for family that knows the value of laughter I'm thankful to work with dedicated and motivated students. And I'm extra thankful for the sucker t...

I was very intrigued when I looked over the blog statistics the other day, especially by the top ten most viewed posts. Bachelorette Recap: Premiere The Sleeping Dragon What's Black and White? Half a Year "Uhhh...Could You Spell That?" Life Curves Wait...I Said What!? Brother's Getting Old Pisses. Me. Off 5 and Counting What makes those subjects most appealing? Moriah informed me over my visit last weekend that she only reads the ones that have interesting titles. Well, then. Tyler has a possible theory, since two of the most popular posts include him and tidbits from our relationship, that humanity is innately curious about matters involving the heart. The more personal a post is, the more attention it receives. But then that still leaves the Bachelorette Recap sitting in the cold. Because that one is certainly more sarcastic than sappy. When I share the posts on social media, I hashtag the life outta 'em. #Bachelornation is clearly alive and well on...

As if I already wasn't 1000% positive that I never want to work in the medical field...Health and Exercise Science is only confirming my negative position towards the intricate workings of the human body. It is going to be my cross to bear this semester.  Test One is coming up on Monday and I'm in over my head with the cardiovascular system, pulmonary system, asthma, cancer, sleep apnea, ischemia, myocardial infarctions (fancy word for heart attacks), and hypertension.  When my Venezuelan professor (reason number zillion why it's hard to understand this class...it's taught in an interesting variation of my first language) tells us to remember the difference between the right and left sides of the heart, this is what I think: left side right side Unfortunately, I don't think that's the diagram she will be checking for on the exam.  Based on the amount of time she has spent espousing the dangers of smoking, you'd think cigarettes are the pitfall of...

My trip back to Beaumont brought on a serious case of dejavu. Moriah and her mom met me at Houston Hobby airport and we made the trek back to Beaumont, guided by the light from the oil refinery factories. #homesweethome. We crossed Taylor's Bayou (it's a real place), passed Gator Country, and my old home. The new inhabitants have really let it go. There was a PLASTIC swing set just dangling off one of the frequently tp'd trees while the walkway was nearly invisible through the overgrown bushes. Respectful way to treat my old abode. If they hadn't been obviously home (open garage depicted a mini van holding court) I would have had no qualms about sneaking around back for a quick dip in the delectable pool. On second thought, who knows how many kids have peed in that thing since I've been gone. I woke up on Moriah's floor on Saturday morning and was instantly transported to high school. Was Friday night a football game at Legacy in autumn followed by the typic...

Real quick, I have SUCH a bone to pick with some members of the male population. One of my dearest friends in the world got screwed over recently. Stereotypical story. Girl meets boy. Boy gets girl's number. Boy and girl spend the majority of the next few weekends together. Girl starts falling for him because, who wouldn't? When is he attentive, he is perfect. When he kisses her, she sees them together, at least for a while. But then, boy fools around on the side. Girl confronts him, just wanting answers, only wanting the games to stop. And boy doesn't have a response of any kind. Real classy. Real cute. What a gentleman.  And now girl is understandably hurt. But her anger is so misplaced. She called me, ranting at herself, wishing she'd have been smarter with her time and investment. I told her over and over again, "this is NOT your fault", but she only countered with "I should have known better, I mean, they all do that." No. Just because t...

Disney bequeathed some unrealistic notions of what an ideal girl is like, but as a result I am positive I would be unstoppable with these characteristics. Belle's heart. She refuses to let first impressions ruin an entire relationship. Her understanding and influence transforms the beast into someone lovable. And I'd be okay with endlessly twirling in that butter yellow dress. Pocahontas' tan. I am addicted to being bronze. My goal might be more readily met if I was Native American...but since I'm stuck being Caucasian I'll continue to sizzle for hours in the sun by day and smear aloe vera on by night. Ariel's smile. She's always got this coy turn to her lips, despite being a ginger and voiceless to boot. I bet she never had braces. Cinderella's innocence. Not to be confused with blondness, Cinderella doesn't seem quite part of this world (Ariel reference, yes). Her spirit is unmarred by false intentions, making her irresistible t...