A Very Lucky Girl

Conflicts are not my forte; I don't like feeling at odds with another human being. But I've learned through the years that relationships grow through disagreement. I found a journal entry from about a year ago documenting one of my first fights with Tyler. After all was said and done, I ended with, "I love solving problems with him." Because I do love the aftermath of a good fight. Whether with a significant other or a friend, conflict makes for furthered communication. LifeChurch taught on disagreement during their marriage series last summer and I took away a big lesson from it, despite being unmarried. I should never fight to WIN, I should fight to RESOLVE. I should fight for a relationship, not for the upper hand. Pride often makes me want to be RIGHT. But being right isn't the point, being reconciled is a far greater goal.  Conflict is healthy. It indicates growth and personality. I am never, ever going to agree with everyone about everything. It's just...

I still haven't progressed beyond page 26 in Dr. Townsend's book, but now the entire summer stretches before me so I hope to make some headway in the next few weeks.  To be honest, I've been dreading week five of my love project. I hate this mandate. Let me rephrase, I hate hate hate double hate LOATHE ENTIRELY this requirement.  Love is not Proud. If you know me at all, I really do tend to give off an "I'm the $#!t" attitude. I know I'm really not. I'm probably, like, third on the totem pole of hot $#!t. Like there's Beyonce, then Cady Groves, and then me and Taylor Swift are tied.  Don't misunderstand, I'm insecure in a lot of ways. I think most everyone is. But I hate hate hate double hate LOATHE ENTIRELY being wrong. Cannot stand it. But the worst part of being wrong is when everyone knows I'm wrong. Because then my pride is injured.  You know what would solve this issue? If I didn't have a pride problem. It's okay...

I reside in the home of the Thunder. And I wouldn’t say that I wasn’t a fan. But I certainly wasn’t fanatical. I was happy when they won, but I could shrug off a loss like an ugly cardigan. That has changed. I went to the playoff game last Wednesday night against the Lakers. It changed my whole perspective. It gave new meaning to the random visits that Jamba gets from James Harden from time to time. Not joking. We’ve chatted. Okay, I’ll stop name dropping now. At the beginning of the game, before the refs went blind (more on that later), this video played. (before anything else I need to say that I spent significant time searching for this video. And I wanted it in actual video form, not video of video. But this is all I could find. And Miss Brittney doesn't know how to type because according to her, this city is actually our cury apparently....moving on.) I’ve mentioned before that Oklahoma isn’t my favorite place. But I’ve never felt such pride in this state...

September 2011, when I was feeling really discouraged about school and my pathetic life in general, my friend Nick introduced me to this song . Proud by The Icarus Account. First off, this was a complete music change from my typical Katy Perry and Taylor Swift playlists. And secondly, the chorus completely hit home. "The innocence we had could never last forever And I look at what I learned to play today; Do you think that I'll be famous someday? When you see me now,  I hope I make you proud" Because all I wanted to do was make people proud of me and I felt like I just kept disappointing them. I didn't know how to fix it.  Recently I've heard this refrain in my head, and it's bringing new thoughts that might be impossibly twisted. You tell me. I really struggle with pride. I like to be right, I like to be perfect, I like to have all the answers always. I hate to be wrong, I hate to make mistakes, I hate unknowns.  And pride has al...