A Very Lucky Girl

Bow Chicka Wow Wow! This is the night I've been waiting for all season. This is when the door gets slammed in our faces while they get it on. However, Oakes trying to imitate Emily's preview crying was already a highlight at the very beginning. The night could only get better. They traveled to Curacao. I don't know much about the country, but I know I like the drink and it's pretty blue hue.  She sits on some really uncomfortable coral with her slowly fading spray tan to monologue about how much in disbelief she is that guys are traveling the world for free to date her! OMG! IN SHOCK! "Jef marches to his own drum completely and I love that" No, Emily, he IS the drummer in his own boy band. Have you SEEN his hair? 6 minutes in and we are still hearing about Jef. But after we trade that in for close-ups of Arie's acne I'm wishing for Jef, Sean, even Ryan back in the mix. Arie gets about 2 minutes of description. Sucks to suck. I tend to forget about S...

At first glance I thought Ames was back with us from Ashley Hebert’s season during the introduction and I almost rejoiced. But then I realized it was just a really weird camera angle of Chris. Devastating. The gang has arrived in Prague. Before we get to actually see anybody we are treated to several camera angles of the same sun peeking around statues and ancient buildings. And finally, there is Emily dragging that trusty turquoise suitcase to her hotel. We still don't buy this you-have-muscles ploy, Em. And, OHMYGAWD, stop everything! I just realized Emily is not a natural blonde. Her roots are out to play. You are on national television, Maynard, get that fixed while you get your horrible spray tan.  First date card arrives and Sean reads it under the piercing glare of Chris willing Sean to say his name. No such luck. Arie gets to "Czech out Prague" with Emily. Am I jealous? With a pun like that? No. Emily arrives to pick up Arie and hugs ever...