A Very Lucky Girl

There's been an app floating around for probably a year or two now called Tinder. If you aren't familiar, I'll try to explain the basis for how it works. All users sign up through their Facebook account and the app reveals several profile pictures, the first name and age of the user, and their interests. Everything you've liked since you first signed up for Facebook in 2008 will appear on Tinder, including "Eating" and "Mama Mia." I do thoroughly enjoy both things, but I usually don't let strangers know right off the bat. On Tinder, I didn't have a choice. The language of my phone is currently in Portuguese, so I was even more at a disadvantage with how to navigate this new app. I eventually figured out how to set my preferences, and opted for people within 10 miles of me of the ages 21 to 25. If they couldn't buy me a drink they were automatically out of the running.  I added two more pictures to my profile, each user is allowed six,...

I was sitting in the Starbucks on Campus Corner during dead week, snatching a few extra minutes of studying before heading out into the brisk night, when a stranger haphazardly approached me. Our conversation transpired as follows: Would you switch seats with me? Uhhh why? Cuz I want to sit by the window. [nervous laughter] Well so do I. can I sit with you then? [indicates the entirely separate table merely shoved up against mine by a prior customer] Uh yeah you can sit there, it's fine. [buries head in notes, hoping to deflect any further advances] What's your name? Is that what I think it is? [touches rape whistle on my keychain laying on the table] Yep, it's a rape whistle. [not so subtle emphasis on the rape] Oh. so what's your name again? Taylor. What do you do? I go to school Oh I dropped out in 10th grade and got my GED. i might go to OCCC in january though. My boyfriend went there. [quick insert of boyfriend line. GOT EM.] Oh cool. What's h...