Bachelor Recap Week Two: Puffed Sleeves Find Love

I didn't get to watch Bachelor last night so I made up for it on Hulu this morning. Sean greets us with a not nearly long enough glimpse of his workout and subsequent shower. Chris Harrison meanders into the lions' den--AKA Bachelor Mansion--and delivers Date Card #1.

"Sarah, are you ready to fall in love today?"

Sean picks up his one-armed princess in a helicopter and the remaining girls watch wistfully as the couple flies to the top of a 35-story building. Sean invites Sarah to free-fall with him to the champagne toast at the bottom of the skyscraper. I think I would've forgone the bubbly at that point and suggested we steal a water bottle from the crew and split that instead. Less dangerous. But Sarah gamefully fell the 35 stories and was rewarded with a rose and a kiss after a conversationally-rich dinner with Sean. Meanwhile, Date Card #2 arrived at the mansion.

"Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M., Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Taryn, Kacie, and Tierra, let's capture the romance."

13 women and 1 painfully attractive male does not make for building solid relationships. The ladies arrive and are broken into categories for a Harlequin romance novel cover photoshoot. The woman that demonstrates the most chemistry with Sean wins the honor? of gracing the cover of 3 books. Lesley M. is instructed to kiss Sean during her country shoot and Tierra just goes for it during a ballroom dancing scene. But Kristy draws on every last bit of her modeling talent to snag the award. Sean then suggests a swim, but next thing I see is everyone dressed-up so I assume the weather was a detriment to the bikini plans. Sean's jacket makes the rounds as he takes girls aside for some quiet one-on-one time. Lesley M. awkwardly kisses him again. Kacie B. (the B is just reflex now!) and Sean spend some Southern time talking about sweet tea and fried chicken, I'm sure. Tierra takes a break from eating the entire buffet to whine about how hard it is to share him with the other women. Katie the yoga master isn't feeling so zen about her place in the race for Sean's heart and makes the decision to leave. Kacie B. receives the date rose, her ticket out of the friendzone. Back at the mansion, Date Card #3 appears.

"Des, love is priceless."

Sean escorts Des to an art exhibit where he plays a prank on her to test her sense of humor. She handles the crashing of a supposed million-dollar piece of art with poise, even when accused of causing its demise. Her genuine reaction procures an invitation to Sean's place for dinner, where they partake in steak and wine by the pool. They compare their families and the perfection of their parents' marriages. Moving the conversation to the hot tub, Des and Sean agree that love means wanting to spend forever with someone; it's a futuristic verb. After such intense conversation they cool off with a dip in the pool, coupled with a little making out. 

At the cocktail party, Sean laments that "everyone has the qualities I'm looking for." He handles a race question from Robyn with ease, reassuring her that he doesn't have a physical type. His criteria include qualities, not visible aspects, of a person. Amanda pouts in the corner of the couch, probably because her sleeves are squishing her face into that unattractive position. Seriously, the roses on her shoulders reached to at least her neck. Chris Harrison clinks his interruption to announce the rose ceremony.

The departed include Brooke, Diana, and Katie (who left on her own earlier in the episode). I am most excited about Sean's relationships with Kacie B. and Des, but A Very Lucky Girl is equally as pumped to witness Tierra's accident that lands her on a stretcher next week.