A Very Lucky Girl

Carly Rae Jepsen became an overnight sensation with her hit song, "call me maybe" this summer.  Things I love about this song: 1.               The gentleman in the music video isn't hard to look at.  2.               It's catchy and perfect to jam to in your best friend's red jeep with the top off (the car's top. to be clear.) 3.               It's accurate. It's not that I've had lots of experience in handing out my number and wishing for calls, maybe. I think I've actually only done it once, on a dare. It was lunchtime at the mall food court and my friends and I were demolishing ChickfilA as only high school senior girls can do. There was a semi-attractive (at least from the back) male ordering food from the neighboring establishment. I am not a bold person, so they ...

Birthdays are awkward. Especially your own. To want to celebrate it makes you an attention whore. To ignore it is a depressing hermit feature. Birthdays change so much as you grow up. When you're five you get the cool party hats, princess decorations, and blow horns to commemorate the next year of life. Thirteen brings you to the magical age of teenage-dom (a kingdom that I am now no longer considered a part of) and you still gather your friends for a pool party. Sweet Sixteen is ostentatious to celebrate the fact that you have been given legal access to a dangerous machine. Eighteen is the time that you buy cigarettes just because you can or blow all your birthday money at the casino (Oakes can relate, he's been on a casino kick recently) and then go to the club to see what it's all about. But by the time you've reached the older years, big giant celebrations aren't really on the agenda. At least not for me.  I started off my twentieth y...

I'm more than halfway through the summer of learning that I probably don't want kids. I love being able to give these children back to their parents at the end of the day. It's my favorite part. Especially since this week was sass city in this household (I'm reluctant to say that I could be the cause of this...I'm pretty free with my sarcastic conversations). Regardless, it pissed me off.  We started off the week with a surprise visit from pest control. I was unsure if he was there for the vermin or the children (they seem to synonymous this week), but either way I had not been informed of his impending arrival. So when a strange looking man showed up on the front porch, I was wary. I felt bad for being so suspicious, but his opening words were, "So how's everything looking inside?" No mention of his occupation. Um, things are great sir, thanks...move along. He saw the terror-stricken look on my face and recognized his blunder. "Oh! I'm...

At first glance I thought Ames was back with us from Ashley Hebert’s season during the introduction and I almost rejoiced. But then I realized it was just a really weird camera angle of Chris. Devastating. The gang has arrived in Prague. Before we get to actually see anybody we are treated to several camera angles of the same sun peeking around statues and ancient buildings. And finally, there is Emily dragging that trusty turquoise suitcase to her hotel. We still don't buy this you-have-muscles ploy, Em. And, OHMYGAWD, stop everything! I just realized Emily is not a natural blonde. Her roots are out to play. You are on national television, Maynard, get that fixed while you get your horrible spray tan.  First date card arrives and Sean reads it under the piercing glare of Chris willing Sean to say his name. No such luck. Arie gets to "Czech out Prague" with Emily. Am I jealous? With a pun like that? No. Emily arrives to pick up Arie and hugs ever...

I have not been in the mood for immature shenanigans this week. I think lack of sleep is catching up with me and breeding irritability. Unfortunately, the kids are up and at 'em within minutes of my arrival at 7:45 AM every morning. I creep into the house and shut the front door as quickly as possible, removing my shoes, and whispering to talk to their mother, hoping to catch a few more childless seconds. Twice this week she assured me that they had stayed up late and would more than likely sleep in. Both times one or the other kid woke up within 3 minutes of being issued this statement.  On one of these mornings Brother quickly realized that I wasn't going to be engaging in any sort of activity before 9 AM (I cuddle up on their giant bean bag as soon as I arrive and definitely plan on investing in something of the sort when I move out of the dorms) and resigned himself to some Wii time. He tried to play a Hot Wheels racing game and the disc wouldn't read. He brought it ...

Are we running out of dreamy destination vacations, Chris Harrison? Because Emily's choice of Croatia has me flabbergasted. Next stop...Afghanistan? Emily prances into Croatia with a turquoise suitcase. I already see ABC production at work, there's no way southern princess Emily Maynard carries her own suitcase. Its gotta be empty. Good old home town Travis takes the first date. Emily and Travis are united in their hick town backgrounds and show off their square dancing/jigging skills in a Croatian alley. I burst out laughing when Emily mentioned her disappointment in Travis remaining shirtless throughout the Croatian balancing tradition. Her pouty lip is really just too much. Talk about a first world problem. Tyler predicted Travis' eventual demise, but Emily was a tease, picking up the rose to make her break up speech, but then refusing to part with it. Travis' tears almost broke my heart, but his dramatic umbrella toss on the street saved the day, and my mascara. ...

So basically, my bestfriend is a model I miss you eating poptarts every morning Moriah is twenty, y'all! Can't believe it. I remember celebrating our Sweet 16 together. And somehow she has made it 4 more years and I am SO glad. I am honored to be her friend, and I hope to be so blessed to get to see her this summer (fingers crossed that August works out for me to visit). She's been there for me, a non judgemental figure, through all of my failures. I can tell her anything and she will listen and give me advice, leaving the better-than-you attitude out of it. I can only hope to be half as good of a person as Moriah Jo is. God has beamed on her for twenty years and I know He will continue to do so for many more. She deserves it. Being her friend is so easy, it just comes naturally. I love you so much MJC! Wish I could see you for your birthday, but I'll just creepily stare at a picture of you to make up for it. One more year til you can legally drink those mimosas...