Bachelor Recap Week Six: Krystal Shatters

The world-wide race to find love finally takes off in Paris this week. The girls try out their French accents and dub "Pair-ee" the most romantic city around!! Their home for the week is a house boat/apartment building on the Seine. They declare it soooo Parisian (How?) and take turns claiming beds before shouting "Bonjour Arie!" like the embarrassing American tourists that they are. 

The aforementioned Arie is benched up with Coach Harrison reflecting on the weeks past and wondering at what lies ahead. Being with 10 women is difficult and Arie is shocked that he is falling in love with more than one. What does he expect with free plane tickets, champagne, and ABC-orchestrated dates? 

After his huddle with his player, Chris boards the apartment boat to welcome the ladies and lay out the plan for the week. In Paris there will be four dates: 2 one on ones, a group date, and a two on one date. Krystal smirks and wonders who will be paired with her on that two on one. She knows she's the obvious choice. 

Before skipping off to his scheduled tour of the Louvre, Chris leaves the first card:

"Lauren, tomber amoureaux a paris" (AKA let's fall in love in Paris)

Arie arrives to swoop Lauren up in a speedboat and take her for a sightseeing excursion. They visit an open air market, Notre Dame, and some beautiful gardens. Lauren's offering to the conversation is a series of "wow"s. Which leads Arie to wonder if she is truly into him. 

Meanwhile, back at the floating apartment, one of the women eloquently announces that her heart is about to fall out of her ass. 
Ding Dong Date Card: Becca, Sienne, Bekah, Tia, Chelsea, Jenna... let's get all dressed up. 

The women do quick math and realize that Kendall, Krystal, and Jacqueline are remaining for the two on one and one on one dates. 

AT dinner, Arie and Lauren continue to make painful small talk. Lauren confesses that most guys she dates have to make it through a 6 month waiting period in the friend zone first. Arie's smile freezes as he realizes their time together adds up to just a fraction of that. Despite the many red flags, Arie gives the rose and says he hopes this is the first date of many for them. 

The group date heads to Moulin Rouge and it's the best thing that's ever happened to Jenna, not counting open bars. After viewing professional dancers in thongs (or black modesty boxes, rather), the ladies get a crash course in choreography for the performance from Miss Janet. Sienne grew up as a dancer and she is in her element. Tia grew up froggin' and is just hoping she looks good enough in her costume to distract from her lack of rhythm. After modeling their Moulin Rouge getup, the women learn that whoever gets the date rose at the cocktail party will be back onstage to dance with Arie for the evening show. 

For the first time in the history of the show, no one wants a date rose. (Kidding, but seriously I would've been on my worst behavior for this one). 

This cocktail party goes smoothly and Arie gets quality time with several women. He comments that it's the best after party they've had thus far and everyone's thinking it so I'll be the one to say it: because Krystal wasn't invited, DUH. 

Young Bekah gets the date rose and the dance at Moulin Rouge. While the rest of Arie's dates sit in the back with their arms crossed, Bekah and Arie take the stage. 

Ding Dong Date Card: "Two women, one rose. One stays, one goes. Kendall and Krystal, we'll always have Paris."

Kendall doesn't know how to feel right now, but Krystal giggles that she's ready for this and proclaims to a producer that she is wifey material. Krystal and Kendall climb into a limo to head to their date in the french countryside. Arie takes them to a maze and challenges them to find him. Krystal locates the prize first and gets the first stab at alone time. They are still trying to mend things since their difficulties in Ft. Lauderdale and Krystal still isn't owning her mistakes. However, she knows what Arie wants to hear and plays the game to the point where Arie feels she is sincerely apologetic. Just in case her acting wasn't strong enough, Krystal makes a last ditch effort to bury Kendall by mentioning she doesn't think Kendall is ready for love and marriage. 

Because Arie doesn't understand how women work, he reveals Krystal's concerns to Kendall in their conversation. Kendall doesn't believe there is a certain timeline for marriage, but is more focused on finding someone who brings out the desire for marriage in her. 

Obviously, Kendall isn't too psyched about Krystal's attempt to toss her under the bus so she confronts her about her goal to win everything. However, she does it in the most graceful and well-meaning way that I was about ready to give my TV a standing ovation!! Team Taxidermy. 

Arie announces that he needs more time to make this decision between the women and says he will have an answer at their evening meal. Krystal dons her whitest, tightest dress (you know, wifey material and all) and sits across from Kendall. After taking a glug of wine, Krystal says she doesn't appreciate Kendall's comments earlier and declares her patronizing. I stare in open mouthed astonishment that Krystal can be that unaware of how her own words come across.  

Ultimately, Arie decides to give his date rose to Kendall. Krystal, you've just been taxidermied. Stuffed? Not sure on this terminology. 

Arie apologizes to Krystal, says it's hard to say goodbye, and then walks away with Kendall. Krystal is left to eat alone by the light of the Eiffel Tower. She is floored and this is BS. Her suitcase is wheeled out of the rent-a-boat and champagne is popped in celebration .

Arie and Kendall continue their date at the top of Eiffel Tower while it sparkles. 

Jacqueline receives the last one on one of Paris. She compares the feeling to being given a pony for Christmas, but if she doesn't learn to ride ride it the pony will be shot. After that ominous beginning, their cute little antique car breaks down 10 ft from the boat&breakfast. Arie does his best to fix it, but finally resorts to public transport. They do some shopping for Jacqueline and sip champagne in pricey stores. 

They are escorted to the best table at Maxims and Jacqueline drops an education bombshell. She still has 6 years of school in order to get her PhD and needs to know if Arie will be okay with that. Seeing as that likely puts his plan to have a family on hold for 6 years, I don't know he's going to be okay with it for long. But this is the Bachelor and we live in the moment, so he offers her the rose. 

As Arie only has 3 roses to hand out, they take this shindig straight to the Rose Ceremony: 

Tia
Sienne
Becca

are chosen, along with Lauren, Jacqueline, Kendall, and Bekah who already are holding roses. 

Chelsea and Jenna take a moment and say their goodbyes. Jenna mourns all the open bars she missed and what could have been. Chelsea is confused--she felt a connection with Arie. She wants love, and waterproof mascara. 

Arie has chosen Tuscany as the next destination and the women squeal in anticipation of all the wine. 

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