How to Get a Guy in 11th Grade

I unearthed this pearl of a paper from a file filled with a Safe Sex PowerPoint presentation I made for my speech class at TCU, several embarrassing essay attempts, and my AP Biology Fruit Lab report. Oh, the joys of a hard drive. 

I did not have a guy when I wrote this during my junior year in high school, unless you count the pseudo-long-distance relationship that NH and I shared, so I don't know why I thought I was an expert. But my English teacher required an advice essay so I didn't hesitate to share my extenssive knowledge...

Well, if you are reading this you are wondering how to get, but most importantly, KEEP a guy. I mean, once you actually have him labeled as yours, you have to have some strategy to keep him that way.

First things first. Hopefully, you were already pretty good friends with this guy. It is not a good idea to jump from, “Hi, what’s your name?” immediately to holding hands and sending sappy text messages. Trust me, it is likely that this sort of relationship will fizzle after a week or so and you will realize you were played. Been there, done that, and do NOT recommend it.

To go along with the friendship you need trust. I like to say that I trust people until they give me a reason not to trust them. But doing that can bring hurt to you too. Likely, if you and your guy are friends, trust is not a problem for you.

As all girls know, guys have ridiculously large egos. While you do not exactly want to contribute to this issue affecting the male race, guys do appreciate encouragement. Building him up will let him know that you have confidence in him.

Next, communication. Just plain talking to each other. Show a genuine interest in what he is saying and how his week is going. Be a good listener, even if all he wants to talk about is football for twenty minutes.

Don’t blow him off or ignore him, but don’t make yourself available all the time. You don’t want to seem clingy and needy. Give yourselves space so that he can hang with the guys and you can talk with your girls. After all, they were there first and you don’t need to ditch them for the relationship with the guy. If the relationship is taking you away from other friends, then it is not a healthy one and you’re better off without the guy.

A big aspect of getting the guy is the all-important flirting. But, when you are doing this, be careful not to be fake. Be yourself, but maybe in a playful and attractive way. You don’t want the guy to think that you are someone that you are not. A relationship like that will definitely not make it far, not when you have to mask who you truly are.

Though flirting is okay to get a guy, DON’T play games with what he feels about you, or your feelings. Be consistent in the signals you are sending him. Also, what is completely unacceptable is flirting with another guy when you are attached. Otherwise known as cheating. That falls under the trust category. If he can’t trust you to be faithful then he is not going to want you around anymore.

Another thing, let him be the initiator in your relationship. Don’t chase after him, begging for him to ask you out. If he wants to ask you then he will, and if he doesn’t, then why do you want a close relationship with a guy who doesn’t share the same feelings you do? Don’t just “happen” to drive by his house, that qualifies as some stalker material and calling his cell dozens of times could be borderline harassment. I guarantee that if he would like to talk to you he would not hesitate to dial your number. Also, let him be the one to reach for your hand or offer a hug. If you take the lead in the relationship, things could get awkward and strange, which could end things right where they start. 

This is obviously how I got Tyler. Just kidding, still not sure what I did right to get that kind of a relationship and don't pinch me because A Very Lucky Girl wants to keep dreaming.