Like a Dying Man in a Desert

“The next time that boy pursues you, he better do it like a dying man looking for water in a desert. When it's the right guy, you'll know, because he'll cherish you.” 
― Karen Kingsbury, Leaving


Just finished the 3rd book in the Bailey Flanagan series and this is what Bailey's mother says to her when she's heartbroken about a guy that isn't reciprocating her feelings with actions, despite what he claims to feel about her.


I think these are some words to live by. When I was younger and got my first cell phone, Paul and Shari set a texting boys ground rule. Basically, don't ever text them first. I followed that to the letter during high school, paranoid that they had a tracker on my texts and were able to decipher who the sender and send-ee was in any particular conversation thread. Now I make that decision myself, but I still find myself erring on the side of silence. I know they have my number, I know they have the capability to type a sentence, why should I initiate? 


I'm waiting to be pursued by someone who wants to talk to me like they need water in a desert. If there are any mind games involved, then I don't want to be a part of that relationship. The way I see it, you either want to date me, or you don't. And if you don't, that's okay! That means I'm one step closer to finding the man of my dreams (if he exists, I'm still skeptical) and I'd rather not waste my time if you aren't interested in cherishing me. 


It took me 19 years to learn to think like this. And it's still something I have to remind myself of. But it makes failed relationships easier to deal with. I wasn't his water, and he wasn't my dying man. 


I'm not worried, it's a desert out there; plenty of slutty mirages to try to deceive my man, but there's only one me. He'll search for me with purpose when it's time and swoop this Very Lucky Girl off her feet, I have no doubts about that.