I think y'all are ready for it. The Great Debate. Curly fries versus straight. Mushy fries versus crispy. Popeyes, Wendy's, Freddy's, Arby's. Who wins?
Don't worry, I'll guide you through this sodium filled maze with care (***disclaimer: I'm not responsible for your reaction to the food porn that will fill this page***).
There is only one logical way to accurately discover a clear winner: eat all of them in one sitting and decide. But since I'm a broke college student and adding up those calories makes me cringe, I'll rely on my memory of these delicacies. So if you are dubious as to the scientific nature of this experiment, buy me some fries and we'll talk about it. (and you can go ahead and quit judging me on my picture arranging...I wasted 20 minutes to get it like this. I don't like it either. They don't cooperate.)
- Popeyes Fries: I hope to God that everyone knows what Popeyes is. Think Bojangles but 56 times better (except for the chicken biscuits, if someone could FedEx me a lifetime supply of those I would be forever indebted). These little strips of sunshine are perfectly cut (though sometimes a little too mushy for my taste, I need to be able to manhandle my fries) and seasoned with something that only angels could have created. Talk about heaven in your mouth...
- Wendy's Fries: If you asked Shari, she would vote for these hands down. Wendy's sea salt fries are her weakness. Mainly because they match her mushy criteria. Don't get me wrong, I'm a salt-aholic so if you put a container of Wendy's fries in front of me I have no problem inhaling the majority (but I will test the consistency of each one, setting aside the rejects for those with a less discernible palate #sorrynotsorry)
- Arby's Fries: So we've covered the basic flat ironed fries, but haven't embarked on the discovery of those delicious spirals (as my friend Conner remarked tonight at dinner: "how do they even make these? is there a curling iron back there or something?" Yes, he is blonde. How did you ever guess?!). In my opinion, Crossroads has THE best curly fries I have ever tasted. Crossroads is OU's resident 24-hour restaurant and nothing tastes better at 3 AM than an order of spiraled, salty carbs. But, most of you haven't had the pleasure so I reluctantly compare them to Arby's fries. Just thinking about the satisfying crunch of one of these is activating my endorphins (or maybe that's my Easter chocolate?).
- Freddy's Fries: Best for last, obviously. I had never had these until I moved to Oklahoma and it's depressing to think that they have only been in my life for 3 years (I'm convinced that if all 20 years of my life had been sprinkled with Freddy's fries everything would be rainbows and butterflies and I would have a pet unicorn). They are the PERFECT consistency, I never have any leftovers and I would probably literally swallow the seasoning by the tablespoon if that wasn't extremely frowned upon ("A teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down"? Sorry Mary Poppins, chase that sucker with a handful of seasoning and let me borrow your magic umbrella while you're at it. Oklahoma weather is more sucky than usual today).
I'm not sure how I've managed to not be 796 pounds by now with all of my knowledge of the subject of fried potatoes...but somehow I've managed to remain A Very Lucky (and relatively skinny) Girl! (Now go eat Freddy's fries. This is not a suggestion. And then send me thank you email. Or just a regular email. I like those too.)