Friday, March 23, 2012

Inside Scoop From A Cat Facter

I'm allergic to cats. They make me sniff and sneeze and my eyeballs get soggy (mmm...imagery). So I was doubly frustrated when I received these texts from a strange area code in January.



Anyone googling Cat Facts would simply realize that someone was playing a joke on me. And I eventually realized that too, but not before accusing nearly everyone I knew of signing me up/sending me these useless tidbits of information. I decided to troll right back, and dog facts was born. After that, I dragged a confession out of my friend Megan. 

She started a craze. A Cat Fact craze. She told me her secret to introducing a false number and I immediately started sending Cat Facts to everyone in my contacts. The response was incredible and very diverse. Several people cussed me out (thanks roomie!) while others took my route and sent whale facts or other nonsense in reply. 



I would giggle helplessly in geology while my phone vibrated with pleas of "cancel", "stop", and, my personal favorite, "I'd rather have Cat Facts every half hour instead of hour. Can you up my subscription? I wanna be platinum!" I replied with, "Sorry, you are only a Gold member, please submit an application for consideration." I already had an alarm set every hour to remind me to send a new Cat Fact, adding half hours would be way too stressful. And did I mention this was during school...? I took procrastination to a whole new level with Cat Facts. Scrolling through my twitter timeline was even more entertaining than usual because it was filled with my friends stating "omg I'm going to kill whoever signed me up for Cat Facts. I HATE cats!" Mhmm, couldn't agree more. But I felt a compulsive need to spread the furry love.


Needless to say, google provided me with a wealth of information about this feline species, but I embellished. A lot.


"Welcome to Cat Facts! Did you know that cats don't have thumbs? It must be devastating to not be able to partake in thumb wars!" ( However, the most devastating part of this text was the fact that I misspelled devastating to almost everyone. And got called out on it.)


"Welcome to Cat Facts! 95% of cat guardians admit they talk to their cats. It's okay to be a chatty CAT-hy!" (I think all 95% are single females over the age of 40. Just a thought.)


"Welcome to Cat Facts! Blue-eyed, pure white cats are frequently deaf. Sucks to be pretty." And on and on and on. 


Of course, my favorite part of the entire system was the reveal, despite the declarations of hatred. 


I mean, who wouldn't love a Cat Fact from A Very Lucky Girl?

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