The Beccachelorette Week 4: Everybody Hates Jordan

We find ourselves in the Bachelor mansion just before the Rose Ceremony that ABC so rudely cut short last week. Blake takes some time with Becca to cheer her up after Clay's departure. They plan for a future family. Becca is on board for 3 kids but Blake thinks he may want 5. He's also not the one giving birth so maybe Becca should have veto power on this one. They both love boy names for girls and toss around Stevie and Charlie.

Jordan sips his champagne while waiting for his turn with Becca. He thinks his outfit choice of no tie and top two buttons undone shows Becca that he is wild and up for anything. Becca, clued into his wild and up-for-anything vibe, gifts him her extra pair of sheeny gold shortie shorts (she wore the silver ones on the dodgeball date, remember?).

David grabs an Uber back from the hospital to show off his newly rearranged face. Determined to snag a pity rose, he shoos away the intern who offers him a pair of scissors for his hospital bracelet. Becca, fall…

The Beccachelorette Week 3: Where the Words are Made Up and the Models Don't Matter

This post is a couple days behind due to a mid-week work trip to Chicago, but what this post lacks in timeliness it makes up for in terms of quotability.  

Becca's boys hang out in sweatsuits and whip up breakfast. Despite the casual attire, Chris Harrison is just happy to see that Jordan is wearing clothes this morning after his stripper move the night before. Harrison announces that there will be two group dates and a single one on one date. He drops off the first date card and is on his merry way. 

"Wills, Jason, Jordan, David, Jean Blanc, and Colton-it's time to relax."

After Tia-gate, Colton is happy, relieved, and excited to be on this group date. He shouldn't be. The group jumps into a luxury bus, while Becca sets up a brunch spread fit for a queen. 5 in particular-Baby Bekah, Sienne, Kendall, Tia, and Caroline. Becca asks Tia a bit about Colton right off the bat and Tia can't help but assume that Colton thought Tia was going to be the bachelorette. Somet…

The Beccachelorette Week 2: We Have a Naked Male Model

I promise you that the title isn't click bait. We will discuss the naked male model in just a few too short paragraphs. Night one is over and Becca is officially back on the bicycle of dating. To further illustrate this point, she takes a bike on a spin around the Bachelor mansion neighborhood, ringing her little bell for joy. While this spectacle occurs, the men are waking up, enjoying the view, and feeling hashtag blessed. 

Harrison strides into the living room and reminds the men that Becca isn't here to play games and they should take advantage of the time they receive with her. He drops off date card number one before making his exit. 

"Clay, Nick, Chris R, David, Jean-Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln--I'm ready for my big day."

A limo takes the group to Saddlerock Ranch in Malibu where Lincoln claws his way to be the first out of the limo to hug Becca. Take note, this is classic ABC foreshadowing. Becca is wearing bridal white and invites the men to get pamp…

The Beccachelorette Week 1: Let's Do The Damn Thing

It feels like yesterday that I was screaming obscenities at the TV as Arie broke Becca's heart on national television, but here we are. The ABC psychiatrist has deemed her ready to do the damn thing. I remembered to set my DVR 17 minutes into the episode so I missed the Arie recap (PTL) and the former bachelorettes exorcising the bad blood from house. Sounds like I didn't miss all that much. 
I struggle to decide how to recap the first episode as there really isn't a plot line to follow. We always get introductions, we always get limo exits, and then we watch the men steal time from each other. Becca strolls onto the freshly watered driveway in time for dapper as ever Chris Harrison to welcome her to the mansion of her nightmares. Time to meet her men!

He is a professional football player and is in his 9th year in the NFL. He's told he's a big sweetheart and loves his family. He's here for Becca and metro-sexual coats with popped collars. He introduces himsel…

Sisterhood of the Traveling Powells: London, England (Round 2)

To refresh your memory, our flight from Prague to Amsterdam was cancelled so we were en route back to London to make sure we would make our flight on May 1st. We landed at London Stansted Airport shortly after midnight, which really shouldn't even be considered a London airport seeing as it's 40 miles outside of London proper. At this point all public transport into London had stopped running and the first train was scheduled to depart at 5:30 AM. We were exhausted, starving, and freezing. We addressed the middle problem first. Burger King was the only open restaurant in the facility so we begrudgingly got in line. Jordan's nuggets appeared as though they had been sitting in a warmer since 8 AM and my burger was doused in mayonnaise to the point of in-edibility. We managed a few bites before focusing on our next problem: exhaustion. 

Since Stansted was so far outside of London we weren't able to get a hostel and resigned ourselves to an airport slumber party for 2. We w…

Sisterhood of the Traveling Powells: Prague, Czech Republic

We left our hostel in Budapest shortly after 4:30 AM to catch our 5:40 AM train. Construction prevented us from using the metro, so we ended up having to walk a mile to the train station. Normally, I would have felt uncomfortable walking in a strange city in the dark, but Budapest was fairly lively for 4:30 AM!

Our train trip to Prague was uneventful and we arrived just a few minutes after noon. Hostel Ananas was located right off Wenceslas Square. We dumped our backpacks in the luggage room and went in search of lunch. Nothing sounded amazing and we ended up at an Asian restaurant where I ate THE best spring roll.
We perused the open market in search of a ring for Jordan, but came up empty handed. We headed for the Old Town Square to see the Prague astronomical clock, which was undergoing renovations. We still decided to climb the clock tower for some killer views of the city! We meandered through the alleys of Prague in the general direction of the Charles Bridge. The bridge was compl…

Sisterhood of the Traveling Powells: Budapest, Hungary

Our journey to Budapest started out relatively rocky. Keep in mind that we speak zero Italian. We arrived at the train station early (per usual) and scanned the board for our departure platform. Our first train was heading to Bologna, Italy where we would then board our night train. Underneath the platform listings we saw a running header that listed Firenze, Venezia and Bologna as places with cancelled trains (at least, that's what I thought it said...). We went straight to the customer service desk and took a number, wanting to confirm before properly panicking. I have never in my life been so happy to be wrong. 
We located the platform and boarded our non-cancelled train at 8:20 PM with no issue. We were scheduled to arrive in Bologna at 10:35 PM with 22 minutes to catch our connecting train. However, our train from Rome ended up slowing down and we pulled into Bologna at 10:45 PM. We had 12 minutes to find our next platform. We bounded off the train and the race was on. I sprin…