Friday, July 6, 2012

No Comprende

The other day I was thinking about love languages. If you are unfamiliar with them, it's basically just the ways that people show affection and understand affection. And I think it's something important to learn for any relationship, whether it is dating or any friendships or family relationships, because otherwise disagreements can arise, ones that could have been avoided by learning how the other person feels cared for. Some awesome psychologist or something similar (Dr. Gary Chapman) put together a list of the 5 possible different love languages. Learn yours, and the ones of the people you care about. Because the best way to show that you care is to speak their language. 

Words of Affirmation: This is one that I scored highest on. When people explain their feelings for me I feel cared about. This is likely because I place such high value on words. 

Quality Time: I scored second highest on this one (it was actually a tie with words of affirmation). I don't need fancy dates or expensive vacations with my friends. Snowcones at Lake Hefner make me happy. Watching Friends at home and laughing makes me smile. I was disappointed when I didn't get to spend much time with my family on my birthday and felt like I was being placated when my mom offered me a shopping trip because...

Receiving Gifts: is not one that I scored high on. Sure, presents are cool. I love Christmas as much as the next person. But I sometimes feel awkward receiving presents, especially since time with the person would have meant just as much to me, if not more. I treasured dinner with Shari and the shopping trip itself more than what was bought during the escapade. Although, I did get some killer shoes. Thanks, mom!

Acts of Service: Since I'm so independent I don't really care for anyone to do my work for me. I like finishing my own projects and wouldn't normally appreciate any outside help, no matter how good of intentions it was offered with. 

Physical Touch: I scored second to lowest on this one. Don't get me wrong, I like kissing. I like hugging. But I don't base how I feel about other people or how they feel about me on our physical contact. I connect more at an emotional level with my friends and family. I confess that I do sometimes turn away from my dad's kisses on the cheek or my mom's hugs. Not because I don't love them, but because I'd rather show them that love by taking them to lunch or writing them a note. 

But since quality time and words are MY love language, not necessarily everyone's, I have to be careful to learn the languages that speak affection to the other people in my life. I wouldn't value someone doing my laundry for me, but maybe that's something that would speak love to Shari. I'm A learning Very Lucky Girl. 

Ps-I took the quiz on this site. It's really interesting! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 

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