Adventures in Nannying: Part Six

The kids came back from vacation at the beach this week. I walked in on Monday morning, expecting to be bombarded with hugs and exclamations of, "we missed you!" Instead, my kids sat like two slugs in the giant bean bag until I said, "uhhh, THIS is the welcome I get?" After that they clung like a psycho ex-girlfriend. 

I've made them do Rosetta stone, violin scales, and soccer drills all week. I'm always looking for time fillers. While they kicked soccer balls around I decided to use my time wisely and get a second workout in. I always hit up the treadmill before I head to their house every morning, but some extra crunches, jumping jacks, and squats never hurt anybody. The squats were a big hit. My thighs wouldn't agree, but the kids laughed and laughed at the workout I did in their driveway as they meandered around with a checkered ball. 

If you act really excited about something minuscule, the whole attitude in the house is amped up. So I made a really big deal about a surprise dessert, and served them s'mores. Cool points for Tay. They taught me new games in the pool, including one that involves determining what animals each person is like. They said I was "a stingray cuz they're skinny, an ostrich cuz they have long legs, and an angelfish, because you're kinda an angel." Swoon. 

We attended the science museum on Tuesday where they can be entertained with minimal effort from me. I love that place. Brother and Sister were entranced by the Science Live show, selecting front row seats for our viewing pleasure. Living the dream. I scrolled through Pinterest, Twitter, and text conversations as the resident mad scientist blew things up and poured liquid nitrogen all over the floor, until he threatened to drag an adult volunteer up onstage. He described this certain volunteer as someone who was probably sitting on their phone and tweeting about how lame everything was with "hashtag science live problems!" I laughed. And then I realized he meant me. Commence scrunching down into my seat and looking invisible. I wasn't discovered. #closecall #scienceliveproblems. 

Shout out to my own parents for putting up with THE most annoying question, "are we there yet?" I know I repeated this often as a child, and now when Brother or Sister make this query I clench my teeth in agitation and struggle to contain the sarcasm. Has the car stopped moving? Nope. Clearly we are not there. A variation includes, "are we almost there?" Yes, every time the wheels move we are getting closer and closer to our destination. Logic is a magical thing. 

Tuesday afternoon I spent the afternoon on the rug, playing the Game of Life, twice in a row. The first time I was cursed with 5 kids, the second I received a double blessing of TWO sets of twins. The kids looked on in envy, "that's not fair! I want kids!!" No, you don't. Here, have mine. Another week of childlessness coming up, and not a minute too soon. This has not been A Very Lucky Girl's favorite week. 


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