Sunday, July 22, 2012

Bachelorette Week Ten: Men Tell All

Sorry it took me so long to post this! I didn't get a chance to watch it until Saturday while i was dog sitting devil puppies. I have broken up about 3 fights and one of the dogs has ripped up faux decorative apples. Fun Fact: there's a dead mouse in one of these walls. Can absolutely smell it. It's absolutely disgusting. Mmm decomp.


I loooove Men Tell All! Especially on a season that lacked spice because of Emily's blandness. Chris Harrison introduces the show by asking if we are all on the edge of our seats to see Emily find the love of her life. Ehh, I'm honestly iffy. I am, however, thrilled to see all the women in America throw themselves at Emily's sloppy seconds. Chris also pronounces finale (FIN-AL-EE) like FIN-ALL-EE. Stop that. Has he done this every season? I need to pay more attention. As we relive the season for the bazillionth time we get to see a clumsy Emily spill wine all over her favorite prom dress and curse about it. Top 3 favorite moment of the season? Definitely. Arie's brothers turn out to be total creeps as an ABC camera catches them spying on Emily and Arie's hometown date makeout sesh. I would shoot Oakes. He wouldn't dare. Shari came outside the other night when I was saying goodbye to Tyler to tell him that he forgot to eat a cinnamon roll. Not the time Sharbear :) #SorryI'mNotSorry that I like to kiss my boyfriend!


I recognized only 20 of the 23 returning guys..I mean, were some of these men even on the show?! Looks like Alejandro didn't take my career advice as his blurb still reads "mushroom farmer." Oh well, I tried. Ryan grew an animal on his face which isn't his best look. But then again, neither is arrogance and he hasn't done a thing to change that either. Kalon is not only an ass but also a poor judge of character, calling Ryan "humble." I scoff. Even Ryan agrees that he has intense confidence in himself. Hmph...euphemisms are handy. 


Hot Seats Begin:
Kalon gets first shot at redemption and falls short. All of the guys proclaim his words disrespectful. Kalon claims schizophrenia for his classless slip in comparing Ricki to baggage, "I wasn't myself!" and names Chris and Tony as proof that he found friends on his journey. Tony hangs his head in shame. I don't blame him. Kalon was always wary of the idea of a stepchild, yet chose to attend the show regardless, proving him to be after the cameras instead of a family. Judging on his high class Houston family I see him to be very bloodline conscious about what would be acceptable to his wealthy parents. Image is everything to the guy that showed up in a helicopter.


Ryan and his furry face come to the stage; he famously confuses confidence and arrogance. Humbleness is sexy. It really seriously is. But you can be humbly confident. Sean Lowe is humbly confident. Several other gentlemen on the show are humbly confident. People I spend time with in real life are humbly confident. Ryan makes the point that being evaluated on what came out of his mouth during a six week period can give a wrong impression. However, he KNEW he was being evaluated and still chose to make trophy wife comments and say that he wouldn't "love on" Emily if she got fat after marriage. He blames it on the free time he had to idly talk. I blame it on the free-flowing alcohol.


Chris cried about something. I'm sorry guys, I really didn't like him. And I still don't. 


Sean's up next. He has lost his spray tan. But his muscles are still all there. That's all that matters. I kinda have a thing for brunettes or else I would like him more. This is my theory: Chris Harrison says that there is a big twist at the end which is why After The Final Rose is live. I'm calling it now. She says no to both Jef and Arie and comes back to Sean. Any agreements?


Emily finally comes back to face all 23 exes. I can't imagine the catastrophe of having to come face the men that cried on national television after she dumped them. She chats with Chris Harrison about the general journey, focusing on key characters like Kalon, Ryan, and Sean. She consolingly says about her most recent ex, "I mean, what girl wouldn't want Sean?" Well...there's you. So that's awkward. 


I appreciated the bloopers revealing a saucier side to Emily Maynard that I didn't get to witness often during the actual season, but A Very Lucky Girl is still anxious for the drama-filled Bachelor Pad premiere. Jef or Arie OR SEAN needs to put on a ring on it so we can get this show on the road.

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