Friday, April 6, 2012

Beauty From Pain

Someone once said that stupidity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I'm pretty stupid sometimes. I make lots of mistakes. I disregard excellent advice from well-meaning friends. But I'm insanely stubborn, and something in my brain convinces me that this time, this time, I'll get it right. I'm an egotistical know-it-all and it frustrates me. I think that I can successfully sail through life alone.


I SO can't.
But I think I've finally learned (at least THIS lesson, I'm sure there are coming attractions/distractions). I'm also sure that my friends are skeptical in a "yeah, right, I've heard that before" way. Which they should be, I haven't backed up my declarations with action (or inaction might be more appropriate for the situation). But I'm resolute in this end. Finally.


He didn't respect my words, why should I reward him with my valuable time? (he cut into some serious How I Met Your Mother watching time. Unacceptable). There's not much left to do or say, except to create an "over it" playlist and repeat the hell out of it, just to reassure me in this decision. 


Thank you for saying it so eloquently Daughtry, ZOEgirl, The Maine, Carter's Chord, Jessica Harp, Cady Groves, Marie Digby, Kelly Clarkson,  and The After Party. This is the mashup that currently eeks through my headphones during gym time.
"I was naive not to let you go, not to let you go when the time was right. How many times have you tried to pull one over on me? Always mess with me and try to get the best of me. Lookin' back, all the pain that you put me through...Why would I fall for a fool like you? You don't even care at all, how they feel, how far they fall, playing such a reckless game, boys like you give love a bad name. You knew exactly what you were doing, don't say you simply lost your way. I know a liar when I see one. Yeah, you put me to the test with all your BS but I'm done. So don't look at me, I just can't help it, you're ugly! Now you don't mean a thing to me...Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."
I think my anger is absolutely healthy. But I'm really looking forward to the beauty from pain portion of this trial. It's been invited...I assume it likes to be fashionably late. Must be time to be a patient Very Lucky Girl. 

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