Saturday, April 7, 2012

Girlz Rule

Boyz drool? Middle school flashback. I thought the male population might find some of this information relevant and maybe even enlightening. So listen up, I'm about to rock your world.

  1. Girls shed. Kind of like dogs, except that our hair typically smells good. For example, I accidentally yanked out 15 strands of hair from my head the other night. I think they were loose...and I must have helped them out. We can't do anything about it, learn to treasure those stray follicles. 
  2. We like to record our lives. Whether it be via twitter, facebook, tumblr, texting, etc, girls like to interact with people. Therefore, we will take lots of pictures to associate faces with the moments that we want to remember for a lifetime.
  3. Car doors are heavy. Open them.
  4. If all you're serving is beer, it better be something of the lite variety. #divaproblems
  5. Romance is a general term. There is a fine line between sweetness and gag-inducing mushiness. Know our limits. Check before you're cheesy.
  6. When we say we don't care where we eat for dinner, we REALLY don't. But if I hate your choice I'll let you know.
  7. Chances are I still have your texts.
  8. We use multicolored pens as often as possible because we never really outgrow the coloring book phase. 
  9. Don't ask before you kiss us. That kills it. I was on the cross country bus coming back from a meet in 8th grade. The romance of many sweaty, disgusting bodies on a St. David's bus overcame NH, my boyfriend at the time, and he leaned over as we passed Harris Teeter, whispering, "hey...would you slap me if I kissed you?" No, but I'll slap you for asking. 
  10. Don't assume that we can cook. You should just make us food. Apron is optional. Pertinently, making women kitchen jokes will earn you a kick in the babymaking area. I won't be sorry.
  11. Embrace our emotions or deal with the consequences.
  12. If I wear my retainer when I talk to you (phone/skype/face to face contact), I have no qualms about our relationship. And you probably don't either because my retainer makes me sound like Sean Connery, so if you stick around for that you're probably a keeper.
  13. We sweat when we're nervous. The summer before senior year I was roadtripping to North Carolina with Shari to see NH for the first time in 2 years. Needless to say, I was overcome with excitement and nervousness. So for the last 20 minutes of the mountainous drive, I braced my armpits over the full blast air vents to prevent moisture and chewed half a container of Tic Tacs.
  14. We risk injury every time we take a razor to our legs. Yes, I do like thank-you cards!

Just looking out for you guys, so you can be sure to find (and keep) your own Very Lucky Girl.

4 comments:

  1. oh. my. awesome. also.. #13. i giggled. because you told me all about it. hahaah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha happy easter megan! i love youuu

      Delete
  2. haha! I know who NH is! Also. All of these=SO TRUE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I'm sure everyone knows! I'm not very subtle... I'm glad you agree!

      Delete