Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Tortured Soul

I've attended LifeChurch the past two Sundays (with a really cool guy, might I add--I'm a definite fan) and loved every minute of it. I've had an up and down relationship with the institution of church throughout my life, especially recently. It was never an option when I was growing up (still isn't when I'm at home) and for that reason my natural obstinacy would kick in. If you're going to make me do something I automatically lose all motivation...not the best character trait I have. A lot of churchgoers I have interacted with have turned out to be some of the most judgemental people (myself included). And that is why I have problems with a message like the one I heard this most recent Sunday.


The basic idea was that we are tortured beings. We are tortured by our past mistakes and by the lies that perpetuate their existence that we believe. To be free from the burden of a tortured soul we confess to God (1 John 1:9) and (this is where I waver in my agreement) confess to people for total healing (James 5:16). 


Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, or just have had unpleasant experiences with total honesty, but I don't understand how my sins are anyone else's business but God's. Confession of sins invites labeling, the world encourages premarital sex (and lots of it) but forever names you a whore when you succumb to temptation, even just once. The world is drenched in bars, but drink a few times and you are suddenly a drunkard on a one-way street to AA. The world just celebrated 4/20 (National Marijuana holiday for the uninformed). You smoked once? Pothead reputation ensues. You lied? No one is going to trust you again. The saddest part is that these labels come from churchgoers. Christian people. People that are supposed to be famous for grace and mercy because of the grace and mercy of Christ. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll be keeping my mouth shut about my failures until I'm convinced that human grace will be shown to A Very Lucky Girl. 

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