Saturday, May 26, 2012

Mom For A Day

I felt like a mom on my first full day of summer a few weeks ago. It further urged my obstinacy against ever having kids. I was drop dead exhausted by the end of the day.

6:15-Wake up. Scream obscenities at my alarm in my head. Go to the gym and work off the anger at the alarm.

7:15-Take the fastest shower known to man. Skip shaving, what's one more day with fuzzy legs?

7:35-Drop Shari off at work.

7:35-8:15-Drive to Chick Fil A. Pick up a chicken biscuit for Megan to surprise her at work. Get lost. Depend on Google Maps. Get lost again.

8:20-Drop off said chicken biscuit.

8:40-Scour all of Walmart for everything on the list. Exchange Pringles for carrots (so devastating). Self-checkout (avoid human contact at all costs).

9:15-Unload groceries. Talk to the dog because no one else is home. She wanders out of the room when I'm mid-sentence. I don't notice.

9:20-Desperately try to remember how to make an omelet. Crack an egg. Shiver at the slimyness (so. gross.) and pour it onto the skillet over the stove. A watched egg doesn't cook. Do some dishes and forget about omelet. Bad move. Omelet is now stuck to pan. Scrub at it with a spatula. End up with a pile of egg bits sprinkled with bacon. It's delicious.

9:45-Read approximately 3 pages of a book.

10:00-Finally register to vote. I'm a really sucky American.

10:30-Get brother's birthday present from Braum's. Try to order a giftcard through the drive-thru. Apparently it's impossible. Park and walk all the way into the establishment. SO not convenient.

10:45-Search Google for a shoe repair store. Search again. Refine search. Search again.

11:00-Arrive at the street of supposed shoe repair store. There's construction and a nice little detour set up. So thoughtful.

11:10-Detour runs by a gas station. Stop and fill up. When in Rome...

11:30-Finally arrive at destination. Place an order to fix the heels that broke in 7th grade. 7th. It has literally taken me 7 years to do something about them.

11:45-Stop by Ashley's new apartment. Thank God that all my pictures and decorations are in place on my walls. That looks like a fun time.

12:30-Wander around Hobby Lobby. Finally actually find what I was looking for. Buy 17 other items. Hobby Lobby is an addiction.

1:00-Read 8 more pages of aforesaid book.

1:20-Fix lunch for Megan and I. And by fix I mean, throw leftovers in some bowls and tap a few buttons on the microwave. Voila! Lunch is served.

1:50-Drive to Northwest Expressway to get medical records from my doctor. Take a wrong turn. Go on a scenic drive through a random neighborhood.

2:00-Arrive at doctor's office. Haggle with the receptionist to confirm that I am who I say I am. Listen attentively to a lecture on how amaaaaaaazing my doctor is. This is awkward, I'm just beginning the process of switching doctors.

3:07-Participate in Starbucks' Half-Price Frappuccino Happy Hour. Highlight of the day.

3:20-Go to Homeland and pick up the groceries that I forgot about earlier. Oops.

3:40-Frantically try to get on the Internet. It fails. Paul suggests unplugging the router and plugging it back in. The problem is knowing what the router is. I make the wrong choice.

4:00-Sit down and realize my whole body hurts. Wonder if dogs are any good at giving massages.

5:00-Pick Shari up. Lie on the couch for 2.7 seconds.

5:15-Start making spaghetti. Make a minimal mess! (quite an accomplishment).

5:45-Spaghetti is done and working it's way to my belly. I don't hate it.

6:30-Megan comes over. Feed her.

7:00-Make chocolate chip cookies for brother's birthday. Ignore the fact that eating raw egg is not really advised and devour half of the cookie dough. Smear some on Megan's face. 

I spent the rest of the night generally pretty relaxed until I fell into bed at 11. I deserved it after that sort of day. It's not like any of the activity I did was hard. It was just time consuming, and not my first choice. Doing that everyday on top of an actual job? I have a new respect for Shari and working mom's everywhere. Definitely still planning on being a childless Very Lucky Girl.

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