Thursday, May 24, 2012

Bachelorette: Week 2

Monday night at 8 pm I was frantically driving through the streets of Norman, searching for the designated Bachelorette viewing area where Savannah anxiously awaited my arrival. I had been hanging out with Tyler (I tried to surprise him, but that was an epic fail. He was nice enough to pretend that I succeeded) and understandably lost track of time. Before I knew it, Emily was about to go on her first date of the season and I was about to miss it! I slid into my spot on the couch mid-date, to Savannah's intense disappointment.


Ryan received the first date card. Susan admitted that he reminds her of a Labrador, as in the dog. Something about his boring-ness? Personally, I think the unexcitement of his date with Emily infiltrated his personality. Not his fault! They baked cookies and went to Rickii's soccer practice (Ricki being her daughter; all I can think about when I see her name is the story "Rikki-tiki-tavi"). After she showed off her soccer mom skills they went to dinner where Ryan demonstrated his color blindness as he commented that he "loves a girl in red." Too bad she was wearing a dark pink. Following dinner, they attended a Gloriana concert and danced to a song that I love!
As they swayed in the midst of the crowd I cringed as I saw Em's dress inching higher and higher. It was already exceptionally short to begin with. I can definitely say that I wouldn't have wanted to be watching from below the platform for fear of the crotch shot I'd be treated to. 


The night ended with a platonic kiss on the cheek, despite Gloriana's encouragement to "kiss you goodnight", but kudos to Em for keeping it classy! The next day dawned on the group date. I was bored during this entire segment. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are some of the most annoying puppets that I know (I actually don't know many puppets come to think of it). I understand that ABC is trying to cater to kids, especially because of Ricki, but since the majority of their audience are adults, we weren't too thrilled be serenaded by a frog. I confess to letting my eyes wander to the screen above the one showing The Bachelor, where the Thunder were busy dominating some Lakers. The group date ended with some obvious fireworks concerning drama and tempers running high, especially because of Sir Kalon. He did make a valid point in the midst of argument with Stevie the DJ (I can't take anyone named Stevie seriously).


Stevie: You just want to be the guy with the rose.
Kalon: I do. You're right. Don't we all want to be that guy?


Duh. That's why all 18 million of you are there. To vie for flowers. And for time to get it on with Maynard. 


The final date of the week was with a guy so boring that I don't remember his name. Emily, however, legitimately said that he reminded her of Matthew McConaughey; thus revealing to all of America that she needs her eyes checked. I sure didn't see it. The date ended abruptly when she sent him home, apparently preferring to watch the fireworks alone.


All in all, I hate this season already. But I will continue to tune in, regardless of vanilla Emily. I'm counting on Kalon to provide the chocolate-chip cookie dough bits of dramatic delight when the plots drags. And I'd like to take a moment to mourn the dissolution of host Chris Harrison's marriage. As Savannah said, "I don't believe in love anymore!"


Who's joining A Very Lucky Girl for a watch party on Monday?

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