Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Bachelor Pad Week Three: The Lying Game

The first few minutes of the show are recovery time from the previous rose ceremony. Sarah's vote nearly sent Ed home and his close call has him reaching for the alcohol, "I need more champagne." Get me a glass while you're at it, Ed? I have a feeling I'm gonna need it for the rest of this episode. Fortified with liquid courage, Ed brainstorms about leaving but his partner, Jacelyn, convinces him to stay despite the lies and betrayal that have taken up residence in the Bachelor Pad. 

Chris Harrison's friendly face takes attention away from the tension and announces the next competition. Everyone rejoices that it will be held away from the house. It must be so hard to be held hostage in a million dollar mansion swathed in pools. 

At first glance, the challenge is an obstacle course. And everyone starts talking big game. Chris clarifies that the course is modeled after a hot fudge sundae. First, the girls will wade through an ice cream swamp, hurtle down a hot fudge slide, crab crawl through a vat of whipped cream, dump 5 scoops of nuts on their heads and then watch their male counterparts go through the trial in reverse, topping it off with the swallowing of a maraschino cherry to complete the sundae motif. I would expect nothing less kinky from ABC. The group is randomly assigned partners and lo and behold, sworn enemies Kalon and Erica end up together. 

Jamie leads the girls, sending Ed off in reverse first. Michael busts through everyone, moving at the speed of light through the course. The race is too close to call at first glance, it's either Michael or Dave. Ed and Jamie recieve last place and, consequently, a vote against them in the ballot box.

The winning couple are David and Rachel, making them safe at the next elimination and receiving date opportunities.

Dave gets to choose 3 ladies that he'll "never forget" to accompany him on his night out. He picks Blakeley, Erica, and Jamie. They arrive at a reincarnation of a high school prom. I don't know why they would want to relive that. Real adult life beats prom any day. The girls try on several dresses and put on even more make-up before meeting David on the dance floor, but not before Blakeley denies Jamie's offer of a truce. Tacky teal balloons surround the date and datee's. David dubs himself "prom king", I sure didn't vote for him. All the girls are vying for the rose, and Jamie even kisses him. Blakeley mistakenly thinks that David owes her some sort of loyalty, just for being on her date last week. However, Jamie's sob story earned her the rose, the title of "prom queen", and a middle school style dance with David.

Back at the house, it's a frat party. Random objects fly across the kitchen as beer is downed. Chandler/Reid has a sketchy conversation with Ed, but Ed walks away from that talk thinking Reid and he are Bffaeaeaeae's. It's pretty clear that Ed and Jacelyn hook up as he continues his wolf howling tradition. 

Rachel chooses Nick, Tony, and Michael "to get famous" on her date. They go to Madame Tussuad's wax museum featuring, "The Bachelor Experience". The foursome get to act as figurines and surprise fans that come in to view the exhibit. No surprise, Rachel gives the rose to her current love interest, Michael. Rachel and Michael cuddle up and discuss their fledgling relationship, reassuring themselves that they are "in like" with each other. 

Jamie is under the impression that Chris likes her which breaks my heart. She desperately wants to "fall in love on TV" but she tries too hard to make things happen. She needs to let the guy be the initiator. Instead of falling in love on national TV, she falls into a need for therapy. Her plea that she just wants someone to "spend the holidays with" is garbled with tears.

Reid is scheming to vote off Blakeley and Ed. Sarah runs and tattles on Reid, telling Ed that he is in danger. Prior to the voting I really couldn't keep up with all of the lies going around sooo I tuned out and did some quality facebook creeping and sour skittle snacking. The vote comes down to Donna and Blakeley, while Ed and Reid teeter on the edge of elimination. Donna and Reid are sent home. 

The thing I noticed most about this episode was the sense of entitlement that everyone has. Instead of a "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" sense of morality, a sense of "do unto others because of the favors they have done unto you" pervades the house. And I'm sure the worst is still yet to come. A Very Lucky Girl is more than ready for a dose of wholesomeness. 

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