Sunday, September 30, 2012

Aporkalypse

Whoever said the world was ending in 2012 wasn't lying. For one, campus is overrun with a surplus of crickets. Personally, I'd rather have Apocalypse later instead of now... And for two, I'd like to NEVER experience an Aporkalypse. But it looks like we have no choice. I recently learned about an impending tragic global bacon shortage. You can read the entire heartbreaking tale from NBC here

In short, 2013 will not be the year of the pig. Blame the lack of pork on the failed farming endeavors in the way of corn and soybeans. Without proper nutrition, pigs cannot mate to produce little piglets to decorate my omelets. Push through the hunger, piggies! The world needs your babies...mate, dammit!



Thankfully, my bacon addiction includes turkey bacon. Luckily, turkeys are typically only served alongside corn, instead of ingesting the yellow nuggets. I shouldn't suffer too much, and I hope you don't either. The pigs can have my corn ration! And soybeans! A Very Lucky Girl is willing to do whatever it takes. 
  

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