Pilot Pete Bachelor Recap Week 4: Shooketh to the Core

All is quiet in Bachelor mansion land the morning following Alayah’s departure. Four women snuggle on the pool-side patio and hope to leave all of the drama behind this week. Chris Harrison steps outside to invite the ladies in for a biscuit brunch. He recognizes that the past few days have been interesting, but assures the remaining women that Peter is serious about this journey and seriously believes his wife is here. However, it’s time to pack up and meet Peter in beautiful, amazing, and exotic: 

Cleveland, Ohio!

Crickets. 

The ladies struggle to get excited for this mid-western treasure, but dutifully repack their luggage. Hannah Ann fights to fit her Revolve wardrobe winnings into her two allocated suitcases. 

Peter rejoices in the scenery change, especially since he’s in the birthplace of Superman! The fictional character of Clark Kent was born in Cleveland! Ohio’s tourism industry must be struggling, because this episode is clearly sponsored. 

The women arrive and check out their penthouse view; Hannah Ann exclaims over the proximity of “Lake Airy!” What a finasco. 

The first date card of the week goes to Victoria F: “Today our love soars to new heights.” 

Victoria is excited, but also nervous. When the vehicle pulls up in an airfield she literally throws a small temper tantrum over the possibility of having to skydive and pummels the back of the camera man’s seat. Pulling herself semi-together. Victoria F finally scampers out to meet Peter and bury her head in his chest to cower from the “thrills in their future.” Peter, clearly under instruction from Delta to get a certain number of continuous education flying hours, dutifully includes a flight to Cedar Point in this date. 

Victoria F clutches Pilot Pete’s arm for most of the flight, which can’t possibly be safe when he’s operating a small plane, but that’s neither here nor there. The couple roams the empty amusement park and test various rides. The soggy day is evidenced by the intermittent puddles and Victoria F’s ponytail plastered to her scalp. They duck into a cafe for a brief weather reprieve and Victoria F toasts to their future sons having “hot moms and successful dads.” So I think they just agreed to have an open relationship. 

After establishing their open family, Peter has one more surprise in store because he knows Victoria’s penchant for country music. They follow the noise of a guitar and girlish screams to a stage with... Chase Rice. Who just happens to be Victoria’s most recent ex-boyfriend who asked her NOT to go on this show. 

If you take Alabama Hannah’s various appearances into account, exes this season are multiplying like STDs on the shores of Bachelor in Paradise. 

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the devil works hard, but DAMN Bachelor producers work harder. Can you imagine the legwork that went into this exact scenario?? I’m sure whichever producer set this up saw their promotion going up in smoke when Victoria F’s dirty joke limo entrance landed on Peter’s delicate ears. Thankfully for them, Peter was into it and the Chase Rice show could go on in Cleveland. 

Victoria F internally freaks out, but puts on a good show for Peter. They sway and make out on the raised stage, while Chase Rice serenades them. Talk about WEIRD. Chase doesn’t seem too comfortable with the situation either, but keeps his cool at the meet and greet with Peter afterward. Peter thanks him for a great show and Chase casually probes Peter for information on where filming is currently. Peter puts Chase’s fantasy suite week fears to rest; nobody puts out for Cleveland. 

Victoria F is given a short moment to chat with Chase. He assures her that he had no idea that she was going to be here and admits it’s pretty weird. She tells him that she has to tell Peter about their history, but she’s terrified it won’t go well. Chase keeps his distance, but says just be honest and if her relationship with Peter is real then he may be cool with it. 

The evening portion of the date unfolds and Peter is on cloud 9. The day was absolute perfection and he’s ready to see Victoria F again. On the other hand, Victoria F drags her feet as she approaches the cozy dining scene. Peter gushes about their day and quips that Chase Rice could even be singing at their wedding one day! Victoria F goes green around the gills and through a series of “ums” fesses up to dating Chase previously. Peter is flabbergasted and shakes his head in confusion. He asks if she still has feelings for Chase and Victoria F gives a vehement no. Peter is processing the weird-ness of the situation, but Victoria F takes his stunned silence for anger and retreats to a corner of a poorly lit vestibule (her signature defense). 

Peter dutifully follows Victoria F’s dramatic exit and they whisper in the aforementioned dark corner. Peter assures her that he isn’t angry at her and he appreciates her guts to have such an honest and raw conversation. As long as she doesn’t feel anything for Chase, then Peter is ready to get this show back on the road. The couple returns to their untouched dinner plates where Victoria F accepts a rose from Peter. He leads her to a balcony to gently sway to the music of a violinist who Victoria F did not date. 

Group date: “Victoria P, Kiarra, Kelley, Deandra, Madison, Lexi, Shiann, Tammy, Sydney, Hannah Ann, Savannah, and Mykenna: let’s tackle love together.” 

This massive girl gang greets Peter at FirstEnergy Stadium for a sweaty afternoon of drills and football. Everyone except Tammy is out of her element. Victoria P is suffering from an unexplained back injury and gets to snuggle on the sidelines with Peter while the rest of the girls split into two teams: Killer Bees vs. Eliminators 

Only one team can advance to the cocktail party with Peter so the stakes for time are HIGH. The score goes back and forth before ending with a good ol’ tie so no one’s feelings are hurt. 2020 is the year of participation trophies. 

Victoria P wastes no time in snatching additional time with Peter, even though they were just trading should massages at the stadium. Shiann is up in arms about this breach of Bachelor etiquette and wastes no time taking it out on Peter when it’s her turn for time. As Peter takes the force of Shiann’s frustration, the ghost of a rose ceremony past appears: Alayah is back. She interrupts Shiann and Peter and requests an audience with our baffled pilot. He agrees and Alayah asserts that she’s here to set the record straight in regards to what was said about her. She is certain that Victoria P’s false vendetta swayed Peter’s opinion. Now that Alayah has had at least two plane rides and several days to think through her story, she paints a very different picture from Victoria P’s impression of their casual 3-hour friendship. She and Victoria P went to Vegas together and she has the pictures to prove it #receipts. 

Peter questions Victoria P about this sudden turn of events and the tears begin to flow. She told him “her truth” (millennial speak for lie that sounds like truth) and he can either believe her or not. Peter is leaning toward not and brings both girls to a sofa to get to the bottom of this extreme waste of time. Victoria P and Alayah hold hands on the couch while Peter caresses Victoria’s shoulder and I don’t know about y’all, but the whole scene looked a lot more like a tricycle than a bicycle #IfYouKnowWhatIMean. 

Evidently a friendship of some sort exists between Victoria P and Alayah, which throws Peter into a tailspin without any direction from air traffic control. He broods by the floor to ceiling shark tank as he wonders if he made a mistake sending Alayah home. Peter tears himself away from the aquarium and admits to Alayah that he was influenced by the opinion of other women and would like her to come back. She accepts his invitation as long as he promises to put this whole debacle behind them. 

The newly reunited Peter and Alayah walk back to the group date hand-in-hand and it dawns on the women that someone is going to have to bunk with Alayah tonight. They hold their respective tongues, itching to shout “NOT IT!”

Peter picks up the date rose, explains he is trying his best to navigate this journey, and then offers the date rose to Alayah WHO WASN’T EVEN ON THE DATE TO BEGIN WITH. To say the ladies are furious is a massive understatement and if looks could kill then Cleveland police would be investigating a double homicide. 

Kelsey is up for the final one-on-one date of the week and Peter has donned his very best Mr. Rogers oatmeal-colored cardigan for the occasion. Before they can kick off their day, Peter informs Kelsey that Alayah is back and, for someone who threw a whole three-day fit over champagne, Kelsey takes the news surprisingly well. She wants him to explore every avenue now so that he won’t have any “what ifs” post-filming. 

With the Alayah-lephant out of the room, Peter and Kelsey are free to frolic in downtown Cleveland. They join a random polka dance-off and hop in and out of shops before happening upon the slowest derby of all time. They somehow still secure the cheap plastic trophy and celebrate their win with a glamorous evening onboard a ship barely inching along the edge of Cleveland. I’m feeling major Parent Trap vibes. Peter has switched out the oatmeal cardigan for a jet-black turtleneck. I half expected him to be his own surprise and produce a private mime show for the evening. 

Kelsey admits she has a tough exterior, but it stems from emotional trauma in her childhood. She came home from school in 7th grade to a note from her dad on the kitchen counter, along with his wedding ring. He took off for Mexico where he started a new life and a separate family. Peter respects her story and Kelsey receives a rose and a fireworks display across the Cleveland skyline. 

While the booms echo in the distance, Alayah is sharing the dirt on Chase Rice and Victoria F with anyone who will listen. You see, while she was kicked off the show she had access to internet and, since the date was attended by a live audience, word of the weird producer-driven coincidence has spread to the interwebs. Victoria F discovers Alayah’s gossiping rampage and confronts her. Alayah says she thought everyone already knew, but Victoria F refuses to accept this excuse and labels Alayah a pot-stirrer, fake, and manipulative. 

On that kumbaya moment, we skip to the formal cocktail party. The women aren’t necessarily excited to see Peter tonight because they are questioning what he actually wants since he so readily brought Alayah back. In fact, Peter can barely ask Victoria P to talk before Deandra cuts in to start the Peter Weber roast. She has never felt as under-recognized and unappreciated as she did on that group date. This group of women tackled each other and still flaunt the bruises of FirstEnergy Stadium, and Peter went and gave the rose to someone who WASN’T EVEN ON THE DATE. Natasha chimes in and agrees that she is really, really, really hurt. Peter eeks out a half-hearted apology about being unfairly influenced last week, before turning to Victoria P and asking to speak with her again. 

Victoria P, fuming from his “influenced” comment, yanks her hand out of Peter’s as they stomp outside. She continues to defend “her truth” and says she especially wants nothing to do with Alayah after what she did to Victoria F. Peter asks her to elaborate, but Victoria P demures that it’s not her story to tell. 

Peter hunts down Victoria F and gets a description of the Chase Rice gossip-monger that is Alayah. Sydney rages that Pete doesn’t know anything about her and that they can’t get deeper because he constantly is dealing with Alayah. When Peter reaches out to Alayah about these comments, she whines that she’s being torn to shreds by the other women simply because she has a big personality. 

Peter dejectedly loosens his tie, keenly aware that he has disappointed nearly all of his prospects and perhaps wishing he’d run away with Alabama Hannah when he had the chance. To no one’s surprise, last night’s episode ended with a giant “To Be Continued” because Chris Harrison likes to tease. 

If Alayah finally does bite the dust next week (which looks promising since Peter will likely face a full-on revolt if he doesn’t take action), I fully expect to see her on Bachelor in Paradise!