The Beccachelorette Week Five: Vegas Vibes
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Meanwhile, her suitors are exploring their Aria Skysuite and can't even handle their sweet new digs. Harrison called in for a sick day, so Becca greets her own boyfriends from the second level balcony of their suite. She announces it's going to be a busy week before making her exit.
Ding Dong Date Card: "Colton, let's ride off into the sunset together."
Colton is jazzed and looking forward to some quality time. They climb aboard camels and lumber their way into the desert to their oasis: a strategically positioned hot tub that the intern found on a Nevada garage sale site.
Despite being in the middle of the desert with the sun beating down, the hot tub is on and they continue to exchange body heat by snuggling. Becca is the most relaxed and sweaty she's ever been. They agree that they are now on the same page since Tiagate is behind them.
Dinner is at Sage, where Becca rocks the first of many sparkly ensembles. They reminisce on their date with the camels that took place only 3 hours prior before getting into past relationships. Colton admits that in his last relationships he dropped the L bomb too quickly and it ended because she broke up with him out of nowhere. Red Flag. Breakups rarely happen out of nowhere. There had to be an instigator. I love me some Colton, but something tells me his rugged jawline is too good to be true. Colton and Becca are on the same page and Becca and I are on the same page when it comes to Colton's face. He gets a rose. To celebrate his flowered state, they take a private Big Bus tour and follow the instruction of the giant "kiss her" marquee.
Ding Dong Date Card: "Wills, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, Chris--I'm looking for my Mr. Las Vegas."
After some quick calculation, it's evident that Jordan and David are the last two standing and thus will be on the two on one date. Each man is confidant that he will stay.
Becca's gaggle of guys pile into a limo and pull up to a mansion with gold gates. The grounds are outstanding and dotted with peacocks, but Becca is the main attraction. She beckons her gentleman to sprint down a bricked path before getting their Vegas vibes on. Mr. Wayne Newton and his elastic face is here to get the party started. He introduces the group to his female inspiration and sings for her. His face continues not to move.
He instructs the group that songwriting is the activity of the afternoon. He wants them all to write lyrics for Becca. Chris shrugs and hopes he can plagiarize his lyrics from his one on one songwriting date.
The men scatter across the yard, careful to avoid peacock droppings, to pen their lyrics. Wayne Newton watches carefully and listens to each stanza. He announces that they will now perform their art in front of a live Las Vegas audience. Trussed up in tuxes, the ride to the performance hall is infinitely quieter than the ride to Wayne Newton's residence.
The performance is painful, to say the least. Chris decides to own the night and gets the crowd on their feet. Becca is impressed so Chris is a hundo p sure of his rose chances. At the cocktail party, Becca snuggles up with each date, in turn. Chris decides not to take initiative and go ask for his time. Instead, he plants his ass on the couch, certain that he's ranked as a front runner.
Blake, on the other hand, is ready to be vulnerable. He is angry with our dear departed JB for stealing the first true "falling in love" moment from Becca. Blake is honestly falling in love with her and wants to share that with Becca. She receives Blake's words much better than she received JB's, and melts. She decides to give the date rose to someone she feels confident with--Blake.
Chris. Is. Shook. His theory is that if Becca wants him she would've made time for him tonight and thinks of packing his bags. Okay, Krystal.
Ding Dong Date Card: "Jordan and David, meet me in the Valley of Fire."
Colton should get a bonus rose for having to spend the entire day with Jordan and David in the SkySuite prior to their date. David spends his time asking if Jordan is going to wear his golden underpants again. Jordan is a little skeeved out that David can't stop thinking about his underpants. I'm going to need grown men to quit saying the word "underpants."
It's finally time for the showdown we've all been waiting for. A limo takes the duo to the desert, where they meet Becca at a red Jeep. Jordan calls shotgun and David gets stuck with bitch middle seat in the back. After a bumpy ride, they arrive at strategically placed campsite in the middle of nowhere. Despite the jostling, Becca is still looking like a snack according to our eloquent model.
Becca sits between her men and encourages them to soak up the peace and silence in the middle of nowhere. David continues to chatter nervously about how excited he is to have this time with her. Becca sighs and asks David to sit down with her. David uses his time to tear down Jordan and expose him as the golden underpants clown who thinks he is "settling" for Becca.
Becca turns around and asks Jordan his side of the story. Jordan defends himself and says he is a loyal partner because he has watched his dad love his mom for 27 years. He refuses to apologize for being bold.
After some name calling on either side, Becca sits between the two children to try to get to the bottom of this "settling" business. In the end, she rewards Jordan for opening up somewhat and leaves David in the dust. Literally. Hopefully he got a signal on his phone to call an Uber before dehydration set in. The only liquids in sight were two glasses of Rose.
Becca isn't ready to give Jordan the rose quite yet. Instead, they sit down to dinner together. Jordan asks what a weekend for Becca looks like, but before she can really share much, he lets her know that he stays busy at the gym and with skin and hair care. He goes on to exhibit how expressive his face can be and laments that he doesn't have his modeling portfolio on him right now. Becca lets him plant a pity kiss on her lips, before picking up the rose. Jordan beams, certain that bad boy is about to jump onto his chest. Unfortunately, Becca believes something is missing. Spoiler alert: that something is humility.
The resident pensive model is in shock. His only redemption is knowing that he lasted longer on this date than David. Becca enjoys a fireworks show for one and her remaining suitors throw an impromptu bash when Jordan's suitcase departs the SkySuite.
It's cocktail party time and Chris is still bitching because he didn't get any one on one time at the group date. Becca arrives in a floor length number with sparkles for centuries and takes Chris aside. She's confused that Chris never tried to have time with her and has heard that negative comments are swirling. Chris adds a second story on the dog house he's building when he begins by saying that Becca owes him 50,000 kisses. Becca's not having it. She wants a teammate and doesn't believe he's willing to put in the effort to be on her team. She ends the conversation by saying they both have a lot they need to think about.
Becca and Wills sit down for a moment and Chris decides it's a good time to be a man and fight for what he wants. Chris strides up to the couch and asks for another minute with Becca. Becca herself says they just sat down. Wills, ever the gentleman, says Chris gets 2 minutes and then he's coming back for his lady. Chris agrees and begins to tell Becca that he had to come back and talk to her because he wants to make sure they are on the same page. Wills watches the clock and comes back exactly 120 seconds later. Chris asks for more time and Wills repeatedly says no. Becca ends the awkward moment by stating she'll come find Chris later.
Ultimately, Chris walks away in a pouting huff. He receives no sympathy from his girlfriend's boyfriends. As promised, Becca finds Chris later in the evening. Chris admits he hit a wall, but that he is legitimately falling for her and that he is a new person now. We're sorry, the old Chris can't come to the phone right now. Why? Because he's dead.
Rose Ceremony:
Colton-date rose
Blake-date rose
Garrett
Jason
Wills
Lincoln
Leo
Connor
Chris
John the software engineer is heading home to code. Call me maybe if you want to relocate to OKC--I've got some job openings with your name on them!
In the meantime, the group is packing up their shot glass souvenirs and making tracks for...Richmond, Virginia?
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