The Beccachelorette Week 2: We Have a Naked Male Model
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Harrison strides into the living room and reminds the men that Becca isn't here to play games and they should take advantage of the time they receive with her. He drops off date card number one before making his exit.
"Clay, Nick, Chris R, David, Jean-Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln--I'm ready for my big day."
A limo takes the group to Saddlerock Ranch in Malibu where Lincoln claws his way to be the first out of the limo to hug Becca. Take note, this is classic ABC foreshadowing. Becca is wearing bridal white and invites the men to get pampered, showing them to a room filled with tuxedos, shiny shoes, and champagne. The men begin to get changed and Becca peeks between her fingers as abs and pecs are revealed.
Jorda, our resident male model, is in his pensive gentleman element. He confides that his secret weapon is that he puts his confidence on before anything else.
Once they are all properly suited up, the gang meets Rachel and Bryan, a former engaged Bachelorette couple. They have set up an obstacle course called "Groomsday" to symbolize a messy relationships. The object of the game? Win the race, fake propose to Becca, and put a giant target on your back.
The men strap on goggles and helmets before dragging their balls and chains through the course. They reach the water obstacles and slide into ice cold water, starting their respective timers. Chris R notes that Lincoln is somehow first out of the water, although he didn't beat Chris in, and questions his integrity. Karma makes an attempt and Lincoln's flowers fall out of the vase, causing him to backtrack while David beats him to the cake. David and Lincoln paw through the cakes search for the rings before arm crawling to Becca. The guys are neck and neck and Lincoln shoves David aside long enough to pull ahead and win the girl. Lincoln and Becca share a peck and a portrait.
After everyone is sufficiently showered, cocktail hour kicks off. Becca is rocking a killer red jumpsuit and Lincoln asks to steal her first. Jordan is livid and questions whether Lincoln is being real with her. However, they've all known each other about 24 hours about this point, so who's to say who's real at this moment?
Becca presents Lincoln with a photo from the afternoon and they share a kiss. Lincoln proceeds to show off his photo with Becca and place it on a prominent space on the coffee table in front of her other suitors. He is asked politely to put it away, put it face-down, anything, and he refuses. I honestly didn't fault Connor for deciding to "send it" into the pool, shattering the glass. Lincoln, however, thinks it's classless and that someone needs to call Connor's mom because Lincoln's mom would never in a million years let him get away with that.
Since no phones are allowed, Lincoln takes his tattle tale to Becca. He goes on to say that he feels disrespected and physically threatened. Becca is disappointed by Connor's aggressive reaction and confronts him. Connor admits that it was a childish decision, but Becca says she'll need time to think this through.
In the meantime, she shared a blanket and a kiss with Jean-Blanc so their drama-free time earns JB the date rose, much to Lincoln's dismay.
A new day dawns and the boys are STILL talking about the damn photo. Lincoln goes so far to say that Connor stole another man's property and compares the photo to a medal of honor. This is 2018, I promise there's another copy of that photo on an intern's computer. Despite this, Lincoln cries REAL TEARS.
Ding Dong Date Card: "Blake, let's lose control."
Blake and Becca (Bsquared) take a limo to an unknown destination. He comments that this is his first time in a limo, since he previously chose livestock for transportation. They arrive in an LA ghetto, complete with barbed wire, grafitti, and grunge.
Harrison appears with a sledgehammer and invites them to deal with the past to move on to the future. Bsquared don protective onesies, helmets, and sledgehammers of their own before entering the warehouse. Inside, they find relics of Becca's relationship with Arie: a race car, TVs replaying the ill-fated proposal, the actual break-up couch from the happy couple weekend gone wrong, etc. Lil Jon invites them to destroy the memories while he serenades them with "Turn Down for What." Blake is delighted to see how happy Becca looks while she beats up a race car. They toast with the one bottle of champagne that they didn't destroy and survey the damage .
After trading the onesies for dinner attire, Bsquared compares how sore their arms are before sharing about past relationships. Blake had a rough romantic past as well. However, they are both really glad to be where they are right now and to have discovered so much about themselves throughout the tough spots. The day has exceeded her expectations and Becca offers Blake the date rose. They find a wall to make out. I'm getting all the feels with these two!!!
Ding Dong Date Card: "Garrett, Rickey, John, Bryan, Alex, Chris, Trent, Leo, Wills, Colton--Love comes at you hard and fast."
A school bus rolls up to transport the motley crew to a school. Becca greets them with hugs before ushering them into a gym where they are schooled on the art of dodge-ball by a couple of 10 year olds. All of this practice comes in handy for they are going to be competing in the Ultimate Dodge-ball Championship this evening. They head to Sky Zone Trampoline Park to make it really interesting.
Harrison and Fred Willis are commentating on the battle between Neon Pink and Neon Green in a best two out of three competition. Thanks to Leo, Neon Pink has a fighting chance, however ultimately Neon Green takes the W.
The group heads to the Four Seasons to toast to an excellent evening. Becca rocks a sparkly dress that is giving me major TSwift Reputation Stadium Tour vibes. Garrett is excited to get to know Becca more, as he thinks she is the female version of him. Wills describes his first kiss with Becca as sultry and sweet. Colton has a confession to make: he had a relationship (I use the term relationship loosely here, he said "weekend") with Tia prior to coming on the show. He wants to be upfront with Becca, but is worried his honesty will earn him a plane ticket home. After hearing from Colton, Becca is frustrated that he has put her in this position. She was really excited about Colton and needs time to think about this. Ultimately, her fear is that Colton came into this hoping Tia would be the Bachelorette.
Date rose goes to Wills for his sweet and sultry kiss.
Becca shows up to the mansion in a floor length royal blue sparkly dress for the cocktail party. The week has been more emotional than she anticipated and she fears she is losing trust. Clay wants to show Becca some fun so they practice a victory dance and seal it with a kiss in the driveway.
Connor, ready for a fresh start, Becca her a framed photo of himself with cake on his face and asks her to launch it into the pool. She happily obliges.
Jordan is excited to make an impression this evening. He really wants Becca to see his full personality, but by full personality he means "full naked body." He strips down to his painfully tight underwear (it's unknown whether he was wearing his confidence or not) and interrupts Becca's conversation with David (the chicken from night 1). Becca offers and awkward laugh. Jordan sits down with her and wants to make sure she doesn't misinterpret him as someone who is 007 all of the time. Don't worry, Jordan, I don't think anyone is making that mistake.
David, the chicken, is understandably frustrated by the stunt Jordan just pulled. Unfortunately, arguing isn't David's strength and arguing with a half naked male model wrapped in a pink blanket isn't a good look for anyone. Jordan lets the haters rolls off him, sips his wine, and pulls his blanket closer around him.
Colton and Becca get some time to rehash the Tia scandal. Colton reassures Becca that he is here because he wants to get to know her. She appreciates and see that interest, but tells him she is finding it difficult to invest in the relationship without more clarity.
Rose Ceremony:
Chris R
Jason
John
Clay
Mike
Connor
Leo
David
Garrett
Nick
Ryan
Christon
Jordan
Lincoln
Colton
Going home:
Alex, the one with all of the tears.
Ricky
Trent
Next week: someone's on a stretcher and I couldn't figure out who. I need answers! I think I have my top 3 locked in, but I'll give it another week to be sure. Plus, not only do I need Becca's meal plan, but I also need her closet. Catch you fellow rose chasers next week!
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