Bachelor Recap Week Four: Feelin' 22
Lackluster Arie is back with 15 girlfriends. Bekah kicks off her morning with a swim in the Bachelor Mansion pool that contains an abundance of chlorine to combat the various strains of herpes floating around from seasons past. The other women chat indoors about Bekah's notorious age, which is a not so subtle hint that Arie will learn her mysterious age this episode.
Chris Harrison pops in, decked out in his travel button down to reveal that there will not be a date in LA today. Instead, they are leaving the mansion and heading to Tahoe!
Arie arrives ahead of the gang and checks into the 5-star, luxurious...Hard Rock Hotel and Casino? I guess we know who sponsored this episode. Arie muses that traveling and experiencing new things helps to create a bond. I tend to agree, except generally it helps when ABC isn't footing the bill for all of the adventures.
The girls check into an AirBnB in the woods and Kendall enters nirvana as she exclaims over all of the stuffed animal heads.
Ding Dong Date Card: Seinne, let's let our love soar. Bekah reads the announcement wearing hoop earrings that could double as chokers. Remember this for later.
Arie shows up to swoop his princess of the day and drives her to a dock. They board a boat and spend the afternoon parasailing. The rest of the girls try out a couple of binoculars that were strategically placed on the balcony and spot the flying couple out on the water.
Seinne and Arie enjoy a picnic and chat about their families. Arie sees his family every other day and tells her about his brother's recent wedding in Holland. Seinne hasn't been in love in a long time so she is scared. Arie confesses that she is well-education, well-traveled, and a damn good kisser. Translation: she's out of his league.
At dinner, Seinne asks why Arie hasn't been in love in 5 years (AKA-what's wrong with you?). Arie says it took him awhile to get over Emily and he purposefully dated people who weren't ready for marriage because it was safer for him. Ultimately, Arie picks up the date rose and says this could be the start of their love story. She accepts the rose and the subsequent LANCO concert and I regret not listing her in my fantasy league final four.
Back at the house, Maquel receives a call from home with the news that her grandpa passed way unexpectedly. She packs up and heads home.
Ding Dong Date Card: Chelsea, Krystal, Marikh, Ashley, Jacquiline, Tia, Jenna, Kendall, Lauren, Brittany, Caroline: will our love survive?
The only name not on the date card is Bekah's so she starts celebrating in anticipation of her upcoming one-on-one.
The group meets for a nature hike and get schooled on survival skills. Marikh, queen of glam, is worried they might all die today. The first lesson: if you can't find a water source drink your pee. Every girl is given a water bottle and told to go find a tree. They come back with their warm bottles and watch Arie take the first sip...of apple juice. Next up on the menu: bugs and maggots. Tia literally jumps for joy. Kendall and Arie toast worms and then sneak a quick peck behind a tree.
The group splits into 3 teams and are instructed to follow their maps and compasses to a special location.
The girls complained of being cold and lost the whole way, but truly how lost can you be when you have a camera crew with you at all times?
Eventually all 3 groups make it to the designated location where a hot tub and bar greets them. Talk about roughing it. Krystal proceeds to label the other girls as aggressive with big personalities. Pot, I'd like you to meet kettle.
Kendall and Arie snuggle up on a loveseat. She says she enjoyed the day because she's always wanted to eat a bunch of bugs. That's cool, I've always wanted to eat a bunch of tacos, but to each their own. Arie lies to her face and says he was impressed by her bug eating and asks more questions about her taxidermy collection. I think he wants to make sure she's not the one who stuffs these animals so he won't be in danger when he eventually dumps her.
Krystal is feeling challenged being in such a large group date because she had a one on one date and a small group date and now this. It's just hard work begin a date alumnus. Everyone else is just feeling challenged by Krystal and her fake attitude.
Krystal steals some time with Arie and she is a mix of emotions. She is happy to be here and excited about their connection, but just feels a target was put on her back since she got a one-on-one date so early on. Huh, that could be true except for the fact that Becca received the very first one-on-one and everyone seems fine with her. LAWYERED. Even still, Krystal conjures up some fake tears and labels Tia and Caroline immature and insecure.
Ultimately, the date rose goes to Tia after she talks with him about her attraction to him. I would have been more excited about the fact that Krystal didn't get the rose, but I was terribly distracted by Arie's cardigan game. Was he wearing a purple sweater with a red shirt?! Clearly he needs a wife.
Krystal is very confused that the rose didn't go to her. I'm confused that her breathy baby voice is suddenly turned off when she expresses her displeasure with Tia. Krystal goes onto say that she comes across as flawless. She should let other people tell her that.
Bekah kicks off her date with the classic run and jump into Arie's arms. He announces that they are going horseback riding. Arie states that Bekah is full of life (14 more years of life than he has to be exact #agegapproblems). Their horses take them to a hot tub in the middle of nowhere. They quickly shimmy into swim suits and toast to finding out more about each other--like their ages?
After making out for an adequate amount of time in the hot tub, they arrive at dinner. Arie is excited to see if their lives match up as closely as their chemistry. He is most concerned about whether she would be ready to get married. She says she previously hasn't been with the right person or at the right time (...or old enough). Arie knows there are times he thought he was ready and he wasn't so he wants to make sure she is. Does she still like to go out and party? Arie confesses that he's become more boring in his old age. Bekah pauses before answering and then asks the question of the season, "Wait, do you know how old I am?"
Arie doesn't. She hesitates to answer because she doesn't want him to see her through the lens of her age, but finally reveals that she is 22. Arie's face freezes as he quickly does mental math. Bekah assures him that she is feeling real things for him, but Arie is concerned that she isn't ready to make a decision like marriage at this point: he's here to find a wife, not a 22 year old girlfriend.
Sidebar: when I turned 22 I was swiping right on Tinder on a regular basis so I can see where this guy is coming from.
In the end, Arie allows little Arie to make the decision and says that proceed with caution is his game plan (AKA get her to the fantasy suites and then bye bye Bekah). He offers her the date rose and seals the deal with a kiss, sliding his fingers into the hoops hanging from her ears??? I was legitimately concerned that he would pull his hands away too fast and we'd see a pair of ripped lobes.
Next up, cocktail party time. Arie ditches his cardigans for the one suit he packed. The camera pans from girls shaving their legs to applying make up. Krystal, for once, doesn't feel confident about this rose ceremony. The girls avoid eye contact as Krystal makes a nauseating speech about treasuring the short amounts of time they get with Arie.
Suddenly, Chris Harrison strides in and announces there will not be a cocktail party this week. Arie knows what he wants to do and sees no reason to delay the inevitable. The women down their drinks and Jenna looks longingly at the closed bar.
Arie picks up the first rose and Krystal throws a hail mary pass. She asks to speak with him privately and the girls are dumbfounded at the disrespect. She wants to make it clear that she's not here to play games.
Roses go to:
1. Lauren
2. Kendall
3. Ashley--Who???
4. Becca K
5. Chelsea
6. Jenna
7. Jacqueline
8. Marikh
9. Krystal
Brittany and Caroline are shown the door. Brittany is sad to go, but ready for her next chapter. Caroline can hardly comprehend that he chose Krystal over her (me too, honey).
Next week, Fort Lauderdale for a spring break that will rival Bekah's recent college days! Who do you think will make final four? Did you know what glam-shaming was before this episode?
Chris Harrison pops in, decked out in his travel button down to reveal that there will not be a date in LA today. Instead, they are leaving the mansion and heading to Tahoe!
Arie arrives ahead of the gang and checks into the 5-star, luxurious...Hard Rock Hotel and Casino? I guess we know who sponsored this episode. Arie muses that traveling and experiencing new things helps to create a bond. I tend to agree, except generally it helps when ABC isn't footing the bill for all of the adventures.
The girls check into an AirBnB in the woods and Kendall enters nirvana as she exclaims over all of the stuffed animal heads.
Ding Dong Date Card: Seinne, let's let our love soar. Bekah reads the announcement wearing hoop earrings that could double as chokers. Remember this for later.
Arie shows up to swoop his princess of the day and drives her to a dock. They board a boat and spend the afternoon parasailing. The rest of the girls try out a couple of binoculars that were strategically placed on the balcony and spot the flying couple out on the water.
Seinne and Arie enjoy a picnic and chat about their families. Arie sees his family every other day and tells her about his brother's recent wedding in Holland. Seinne hasn't been in love in a long time so she is scared. Arie confesses that she is well-education, well-traveled, and a damn good kisser. Translation: she's out of his league.
At dinner, Seinne asks why Arie hasn't been in love in 5 years (AKA-what's wrong with you?). Arie says it took him awhile to get over Emily and he purposefully dated people who weren't ready for marriage because it was safer for him. Ultimately, Arie picks up the date rose and says this could be the start of their love story. She accepts the rose and the subsequent LANCO concert and I regret not listing her in my fantasy league final four.
Back at the house, Maquel receives a call from home with the news that her grandpa passed way unexpectedly. She packs up and heads home.
Ding Dong Date Card: Chelsea, Krystal, Marikh, Ashley, Jacquiline, Tia, Jenna, Kendall, Lauren, Brittany, Caroline: will our love survive?
The only name not on the date card is Bekah's so she starts celebrating in anticipation of her upcoming one-on-one.
The group meets for a nature hike and get schooled on survival skills. Marikh, queen of glam, is worried they might all die today. The first lesson: if you can't find a water source drink your pee. Every girl is given a water bottle and told to go find a tree. They come back with their warm bottles and watch Arie take the first sip...of apple juice. Next up on the menu: bugs and maggots. Tia literally jumps for joy. Kendall and Arie toast worms and then sneak a quick peck behind a tree.
The group splits into 3 teams and are instructed to follow their maps and compasses to a special location.
The girls complained of being cold and lost the whole way, but truly how lost can you be when you have a camera crew with you at all times?
Eventually all 3 groups make it to the designated location where a hot tub and bar greets them. Talk about roughing it. Krystal proceeds to label the other girls as aggressive with big personalities. Pot, I'd like you to meet kettle.
Kendall and Arie snuggle up on a loveseat. She says she enjoyed the day because she's always wanted to eat a bunch of bugs. That's cool, I've always wanted to eat a bunch of tacos, but to each their own. Arie lies to her face and says he was impressed by her bug eating and asks more questions about her taxidermy collection. I think he wants to make sure she's not the one who stuffs these animals so he won't be in danger when he eventually dumps her.
Krystal is feeling challenged being in such a large group date because she had a one on one date and a small group date and now this. It's just hard work begin a date alumnus. Everyone else is just feeling challenged by Krystal and her fake attitude.
Krystal steals some time with Arie and she is a mix of emotions. She is happy to be here and excited about their connection, but just feels a target was put on her back since she got a one-on-one date so early on. Huh, that could be true except for the fact that Becca received the very first one-on-one and everyone seems fine with her. LAWYERED. Even still, Krystal conjures up some fake tears and labels Tia and Caroline immature and insecure.
Ultimately, the date rose goes to Tia after she talks with him about her attraction to him. I would have been more excited about the fact that Krystal didn't get the rose, but I was terribly distracted by Arie's cardigan game. Was he wearing a purple sweater with a red shirt?! Clearly he needs a wife.
Krystal is very confused that the rose didn't go to her. I'm confused that her breathy baby voice is suddenly turned off when she expresses her displeasure with Tia. Krystal goes onto say that she comes across as flawless. She should let other people tell her that.
Bekah kicks off her date with the classic run and jump into Arie's arms. He announces that they are going horseback riding. Arie states that Bekah is full of life (14 more years of life than he has to be exact #agegapproblems). Their horses take them to a hot tub in the middle of nowhere. They quickly shimmy into swim suits and toast to finding out more about each other--like their ages?
After making out for an adequate amount of time in the hot tub, they arrive at dinner. Arie is excited to see if their lives match up as closely as their chemistry. He is most concerned about whether she would be ready to get married. She says she previously hasn't been with the right person or at the right time (...or old enough). Arie knows there are times he thought he was ready and he wasn't so he wants to make sure she is. Does she still like to go out and party? Arie confesses that he's become more boring in his old age. Bekah pauses before answering and then asks the question of the season, "Wait, do you know how old I am?"
Arie doesn't. She hesitates to answer because she doesn't want him to see her through the lens of her age, but finally reveals that she is 22. Arie's face freezes as he quickly does mental math. Bekah assures him that she is feeling real things for him, but Arie is concerned that she isn't ready to make a decision like marriage at this point: he's here to find a wife, not a 22 year old girlfriend.
Sidebar: when I turned 22 I was swiping right on Tinder on a regular basis so I can see where this guy is coming from.
In the end, Arie allows little Arie to make the decision and says that proceed with caution is his game plan (AKA get her to the fantasy suites and then bye bye Bekah). He offers her the date rose and seals the deal with a kiss, sliding his fingers into the hoops hanging from her ears??? I was legitimately concerned that he would pull his hands away too fast and we'd see a pair of ripped lobes.
Next up, cocktail party time. Arie ditches his cardigans for the one suit he packed. The camera pans from girls shaving their legs to applying make up. Krystal, for once, doesn't feel confident about this rose ceremony. The girls avoid eye contact as Krystal makes a nauseating speech about treasuring the short amounts of time they get with Arie.
Suddenly, Chris Harrison strides in and announces there will not be a cocktail party this week. Arie knows what he wants to do and sees no reason to delay the inevitable. The women down their drinks and Jenna looks longingly at the closed bar.
Arie picks up the first rose and Krystal throws a hail mary pass. She asks to speak with him privately and the girls are dumbfounded at the disrespect. She wants to make it clear that she's not here to play games.
Roses go to:
1. Lauren
2. Kendall
3. Ashley--Who???
4. Becca K
5. Chelsea
6. Jenna
7. Jacqueline
8. Marikh
9. Krystal
Brittany and Caroline are shown the door. Brittany is sad to go, but ready for her next chapter. Caroline can hardly comprehend that he chose Krystal over her (me too, honey).
Next week, Fort Lauderdale for a spring break that will rival Bekah's recent college days! Who do you think will make final four? Did you know what glam-shaming was before this episode?
Comments
Post a Comment