Saturday, July 26, 2014

Words Under Pressure

Words are weird. I can sit down and type out strings of words that mean something to me in record time. I trip over my fingers because those words have been inside me for so long and I'm anxious to spill my feelings in a tangible, manageable, form.
But when I notice I haven't blogged in a while and it's time for a new post I am often stumped. Not because my blog posts are meaningless (although I did write about Tinder...so you be the judge), but because I'm nervous to share all of me with all of you (John Legend reference YES). Maybe you won't like what I have to say. Maybe you will criticize it. Maybe you'll think differently of me.
Writing is risky. Writing is permanent. I need only to scroll back on my own blog to find posts with words I wouldn't write now. My words are permanent outward expressions of a constantly changing person.
The words I'm currently most worried about are my two essays for the Fulbright ETA funding. I need to write a personal statement and a statement of grant purpose. This is the one time I wish I had a longer page quota to fill. Each can only be one page SINGLE SPACED. I have to give the decision committee enough information in those two single sheets of paper for them to decide I'm a good candidate for the program.
Those words are my first and only impression.
A Very Lucky Girl has to find some grant worthy words STAT. 

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