A Very Lucky Girl

We last left Hannah Brown and Chris Harrison sitting fireside in LA at the Bachelor mansion, recapping a season that I’ve already recapped. Somehow, Harrison and Hannah have hopped on a plane to be back in Riga, Latvia in order to shoot some real content.  Hannah stands in a cathedral and reflects on her journey thus far. She is ready for a new week and a fresh start -- this is approximately the 9 billionth fresh start this season for those keeping score. Hannah has a good feeling for Riga and what it can bring (nudity, if the previews are to be believed).  Her suitors wander Riga and marvel at the romance of the city. Tyler C is wearing a light-washed jean jacket from the local Latvian Goodwill, but we won't hold it against him. A knock sounds at the hotel door and reveals a date card on a stool.  “Garrett, can I trust our love? Love, Hannah.” Luke is verging on apoplectic and we’ve only been in Latvia for about 8 minutes. He is immensely jea...

Last week, we were left hanging in Scotland on the worst date ever. Hannah and Luke are pretending to eat dinner and Hannah picks up the date rose, only to say “I can’t give you this rose.” Somehow, Luke is confused. He’s frustrated with how their day went and says he will take full ownership of it (but doesn’t describe what “it” is that he’s taking ownership of…) and move on. Hannah repeats that it just doesn’t make sense to give him a rose tonight. Luke is stunned -- “so I go home tonight?” Yes, Luke, that’s the general idea. Hannah confirms this and asks him to please respect that as she gives him a goodbye hug. Luke is shocked, it never crossed his mind that he would ever go home because everyone loves him! Luke needs his hearing checked as he is determined to fight for her. Instead of climbing in the rejection SUV as instructed, he tracks down Hannah in the library. She immediately asks “what are you DOING?”, but deaf Luke is undeterred. He yells that he wants to move mou...

We pick up where we left off in Rhode Island with the Luke showdown. Hannah is confused and fed up with hearing the Lukes discuss each other and asks them to sit down and talk to each other. She wants to hear what’s going on. Luke S accuses Luke P of sabotage and that he is not trustworthy. Luke P continues to accept zero responsibility for his lies. Hannah’s boredom with the entire conversation increases by the second, until she gets up and walks away. Luke S rests his head in his hands, defeated by the classic narcissist. Chris Harrison announces the conclusion of the cocktail party and the imminent rose ceremony. Hannah’s suitors are frustrated and blame Luke P for their lack of time with Hannah this evening. They all cut him off when he tries to speak in his defense. A gentleman I’ve literally never seen on camera until this instant narrates the options: Luke P could go home. Luke S could go home. Both Lukes could go home or both Lukes could stay. Thank you, stra...