Bachelor Recap Week Nine: WTA & Sleepovers
I thought about writing a separate recap for Women Tell All, but truthfully it wasn't all that informative. What you need to know: Arie can't stand Krystal just as much as the rest of us, Krystal swears she was hoarse for 6 weeks (thus the baby stripper voice), and Bekah is standing up for ageism.
Let's get to the overnight dates, that's what Arie was here for anyway.
Arie arrives in Ica, Peru freshly waxed and ready to get to know these women on "a whole other level" (his word, not mine). First conquest: Kendall.
Kendall is excited for their date, but is working through some anxiety on being ready to be a fiancé. She overcomes her misgivings long enough to run, jump, and straddle Arie at the start of their date. He takes her on a dune buggy ride across the desert. Kendall approves, as she likes adrenaline things. Like sweating for a rose every week.
Arie comments like that dune buggy-ing is like a relationship. There are ups and down and it's scary but so exciting. Remember, excitement excites Arie. After they attempt to sand board down a dune, they take their date to a picnic in the sand.
As they munch on finger foods covered with a fine layer of dust, Arie comments on how interesting Kendall is. Kendall, wanting to make sure she isn't a bucket list item, says she's had a problem with jut being a novelty to someone. Arie assures her that the taxidermy will not hinder a proposal.
At dinner, Kendall drops that "I'm falling in love with you" catch phrase. Arie takes the hint and pulls out the fantasy suite card from beneath the table runner. Kendall is 100% down to forego individual rooms. Arie is happy. So is little Arie. They make out on the sofa, they make out on the bed, and then the lights go out. Bow chicka wow wow ensues.
In the light of day, Arie is wearing his same shirt from yesterday. Kendall is refreshingly make up free. Arie whips up some sunny side up eggs, knowing he has another slumber party tonight with Lauren and that he needs all the protein he can get. But first, he needs to debrief Kendall on their evening together and asks how she's feeling after last night, "emotionally not physically." Criiiiiinge. Kendall repeats that she's falling in love with him and Arie repeats it back to her.
Second conquest of the week: Lauren.
She and Arie are jumping into a plane to check out the Nazca Lines, which are basically these giant pictures carved into rock that span miles. Lauren is quiet on their adventure and Arie questions her about it. She is afraid to have her heart broken and the more time they spend together the stronger her feelings get. Lauren essentially needs the rest of the women to go away in order to feel comfortable staying here. I'm thinking she meant so apply for Married At First sight and got her reality TV shows mixed up. Honey, have you *seen* this show? (Use your best Chandler Bing voice for maximum hilarity).
Arie isn't digging the fact that he has to spend most of their dates together reassuring her. When they go to dinner, Arie says he wants to gov her confidence and doesn't want to lose her. Lauren tears up and they smile goofily at each other before Arie commits the cardinal sin of Bachelorhood and says I LOVE YOU. Did no one learn anything from Ben Higgins season and Jo Jo crying in the bathroom?
Lauren returns the ILY sentiment and individual rooms are foregone in favor of a massive suite with a pool. A producer decides this would be a good time to play "how do I live without you" in the background of the scene, complete with lyrics.
IN the morning, Lauren and Arie comment that they feel so much closer now and exchange multiple ILYs. I let out a little shriek every time. Arie heads back to his hotel room rocking extra tall socks and Nike shorts.
Becca is lucky (unlucky?) #3 this week. She hasn't said the L bomb yet and is hoping today is the day. Arie invites her to spend the day on a boat, where he sports a massive hickey directly on his Adam's apple. Becca is either blinded by love or chooses not to comment because I couldn't look away.
They cuddle up on the yacht and reveal they have zero doubts or hesitations about each other. They discuss the future and the possibility of Becca moving to Phoenix soon.
For dinner they head to a tent set up in the sand dunes. Becca is rocking a choker and ready to drop and L bomb. Arie chose a buttoned up shirt and a cardigan to hide the evidence that he was with another woman the night before.
Becca decides the timing is right and admits her love for Arie. Arie says it back and Becca is certain that her heart will explode. She too is ready to forego individual rooms in favor of a....tent in the desert? I think it's worth noting that Lauren's suite had an attached pool and Becca got a yurt on a sand dune.
The bed looked like it very well could have been an air mattress, but they snuggle up anyway and exchange more ILYs. Arie monologues that there is a part of him that wants to end this now and just propose in the sand dunes.
When the harsh light of day enters the tent, they wake up for breakfast in the sand. Becca dons a pink robe that is nearly short enough for a black modesty box and can't stop smiling.
When a contestant is smiling you just know something bad is about to happen. A blast from the past shows up next. An ex arrives in Peru and knocks on Arie's door. He introduces himself as Ross, Becca's ex.
I guess he thought they were on a break.
Ross apparently didn't know anything about this show, but panicked when he founded out it ended in a proposal. So he got on the plane and is now determined to give her the proposal that she deserves.
Arie is understandably stunned. He and Becca have exchanged ILYs and seen each other naked sooooo Ross can turn right back around.
Ross is determined to at least speak to Becca. Arie throws a couple of f bombs around, but lets the ABC intern lead Ross to Becca's room.
Becca refuses to invite Ross inside and tosses his offering of hotel gift shop flowers aside. Ross says he wants to marry her and that nobody compares to her, but as usual with most of the Rosses I know, he is too late. Who knows, maybe we'll see him in Paradise?
Becca is devastated that Ross came to insert himself into her relationship and goes to find Arie to make sure they are still on the same page after their camping night. Arie is concerned that he'll be left with a relationship that isn't as solid since Becca was with Ross for 7 years.
Becca has no time to panic because it's rose ceremony time:
Arie is not thrilled about an impending break up, especially since he's now slept with all 3 women. Before handing out roses, he asks Kendall to talk for a moment. Becca mutters that this is becoming an ongoing theme and Lauren answers that she's going to throw up.
Unlucky for her, no one ran into the scene with a barf bag she she had to hold it together.
Arie and Kendall sit on a bench to break up in comfort. Arie just doesn't think they can get to a proposal in time for next week. She's going to miss being around him, but lets him walk her to the waiting SUV.
Naturally, Lauren and Becca get the roses and Arie announces that next week will be amazing. His family is coming to Peru and he can't wait to introduce them. Lauren and Becca exchange forced smiles and endure a Sister Wives themed camera shot with Arie between them and the sunset behind them.
Let's get to the overnight dates, that's what Arie was here for anyway.
Arie arrives in Ica, Peru freshly waxed and ready to get to know these women on "a whole other level" (his word, not mine). First conquest: Kendall.
Kendall is excited for their date, but is working through some anxiety on being ready to be a fiancé. She overcomes her misgivings long enough to run, jump, and straddle Arie at the start of their date. He takes her on a dune buggy ride across the desert. Kendall approves, as she likes adrenaline things. Like sweating for a rose every week.
Arie comments like that dune buggy-ing is like a relationship. There are ups and down and it's scary but so exciting. Remember, excitement excites Arie. After they attempt to sand board down a dune, they take their date to a picnic in the sand.
As they munch on finger foods covered with a fine layer of dust, Arie comments on how interesting Kendall is. Kendall, wanting to make sure she isn't a bucket list item, says she's had a problem with jut being a novelty to someone. Arie assures her that the taxidermy will not hinder a proposal.
At dinner, Kendall drops that "I'm falling in love with you" catch phrase. Arie takes the hint and pulls out the fantasy suite card from beneath the table runner. Kendall is 100% down to forego individual rooms. Arie is happy. So is little Arie. They make out on the sofa, they make out on the bed, and then the lights go out. Bow chicka wow wow ensues.
In the light of day, Arie is wearing his same shirt from yesterday. Kendall is refreshingly make up free. Arie whips up some sunny side up eggs, knowing he has another slumber party tonight with Lauren and that he needs all the protein he can get. But first, he needs to debrief Kendall on their evening together and asks how she's feeling after last night, "emotionally not physically." Criiiiiinge. Kendall repeats that she's falling in love with him and Arie repeats it back to her.
Second conquest of the week: Lauren.
She and Arie are jumping into a plane to check out the Nazca Lines, which are basically these giant pictures carved into rock that span miles. Lauren is quiet on their adventure and Arie questions her about it. She is afraid to have her heart broken and the more time they spend together the stronger her feelings get. Lauren essentially needs the rest of the women to go away in order to feel comfortable staying here. I'm thinking she meant so apply for Married At First sight and got her reality TV shows mixed up. Honey, have you *seen* this show? (Use your best Chandler Bing voice for maximum hilarity).
Arie isn't digging the fact that he has to spend most of their dates together reassuring her. When they go to dinner, Arie says he wants to gov her confidence and doesn't want to lose her. Lauren tears up and they smile goofily at each other before Arie commits the cardinal sin of Bachelorhood and says I LOVE YOU. Did no one learn anything from Ben Higgins season and Jo Jo crying in the bathroom?
Lauren returns the ILY sentiment and individual rooms are foregone in favor of a massive suite with a pool. A producer decides this would be a good time to play "how do I live without you" in the background of the scene, complete with lyrics.
IN the morning, Lauren and Arie comment that they feel so much closer now and exchange multiple ILYs. I let out a little shriek every time. Arie heads back to his hotel room rocking extra tall socks and Nike shorts.
Becca is lucky (unlucky?) #3 this week. She hasn't said the L bomb yet and is hoping today is the day. Arie invites her to spend the day on a boat, where he sports a massive hickey directly on his Adam's apple. Becca is either blinded by love or chooses not to comment because I couldn't look away.
They cuddle up on the yacht and reveal they have zero doubts or hesitations about each other. They discuss the future and the possibility of Becca moving to Phoenix soon.
For dinner they head to a tent set up in the sand dunes. Becca is rocking a choker and ready to drop and L bomb. Arie chose a buttoned up shirt and a cardigan to hide the evidence that he was with another woman the night before.
Becca decides the timing is right and admits her love for Arie. Arie says it back and Becca is certain that her heart will explode. She too is ready to forego individual rooms in favor of a....tent in the desert? I think it's worth noting that Lauren's suite had an attached pool and Becca got a yurt on a sand dune.
The bed looked like it very well could have been an air mattress, but they snuggle up anyway and exchange more ILYs. Arie monologues that there is a part of him that wants to end this now and just propose in the sand dunes.
When the harsh light of day enters the tent, they wake up for breakfast in the sand. Becca dons a pink robe that is nearly short enough for a black modesty box and can't stop smiling.
When a contestant is smiling you just know something bad is about to happen. A blast from the past shows up next. An ex arrives in Peru and knocks on Arie's door. He introduces himself as Ross, Becca's ex.
I guess he thought they were on a break.
Ross apparently didn't know anything about this show, but panicked when he founded out it ended in a proposal. So he got on the plane and is now determined to give her the proposal that she deserves.
Arie is understandably stunned. He and Becca have exchanged ILYs and seen each other naked sooooo Ross can turn right back around.
Ross is determined to at least speak to Becca. Arie throws a couple of f bombs around, but lets the ABC intern lead Ross to Becca's room.
Becca refuses to invite Ross inside and tosses his offering of hotel gift shop flowers aside. Ross says he wants to marry her and that nobody compares to her, but as usual with most of the Rosses I know, he is too late. Who knows, maybe we'll see him in Paradise?
Becca is devastated that Ross came to insert himself into her relationship and goes to find Arie to make sure they are still on the same page after their camping night. Arie is concerned that he'll be left with a relationship that isn't as solid since Becca was with Ross for 7 years.
Becca has no time to panic because it's rose ceremony time:
Arie is not thrilled about an impending break up, especially since he's now slept with all 3 women. Before handing out roses, he asks Kendall to talk for a moment. Becca mutters that this is becoming an ongoing theme and Lauren answers that she's going to throw up.
Unlucky for her, no one ran into the scene with a barf bag she she had to hold it together.
Arie and Kendall sit on a bench to break up in comfort. Arie just doesn't think they can get to a proposal in time for next week. She's going to miss being around him, but lets him walk her to the waiting SUV.
Naturally, Lauren and Becca get the roses and Arie announces that next week will be amazing. His family is coming to Peru and he can't wait to introduce them. Lauren and Becca exchange forced smiles and endure a Sister Wives themed camera shot with Arie between them and the sunset behind them.
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