A Very Lucky Girl

Episode 5 opens with a short synopsis of the previous episode so that we can all reminisce on JoJo telling Chad "I don't think anyone deserves someone like you." #sweetmemories. When Chad's luggage disappears from the mansion, the rest of the guys break into cheers and start popping champagne. James T break out into song and the guys take the rest of Chad's protein powder and scatter it likes ashes. Chad, likely sensing the misuse of said protein powder, hikes through the woods and knocks on the door. Forget your toothbrush, Chad?  As Chad stands awkwardly in the entryway, Daniel stands off to the side and eats his EasyMac while Jordan makes one last attempt to clear the air and get an apology from Chad. No such luck. Evan asks for money for his ripped t-shirt (that probably didn't cost more than $10 from Target), but the luxury real estate market in Tulsa must not be too hot because Chad refuses.  Ultimately, Chad leaves for good and the guys resume th...

First, my apologies on the late post. It's been a week, to say the least. I've begun to wonder if this show is really about JoJo finding love or if it's a cover for Chad to get beefed up for UFC fighting. I'll bet big bucks that he's on Bachelor in Paradise unless ABC insurance ramps up after the threats of violence this season. Week three opens with the spotlight on Chad's leftovers hanging around the house. All of the guys bemoan the fact that Chad didn't get booted. Chad and Daniel discuss getting their work out in. "Eh, back and abs today? Let's do some babs." #twerkout. As Chad measures out his protein powder he muses "so 240 plus 280..that's 550." I feel like a luxury real estate agent should have better math skills. You wouldn't want to lose track of the zeros on the end of a listing price. Chris Harrison walks in. There will be three dates this week: two one on ones and a group date. Date Card: Chase, let's get ...

I have a lot of questions. First, how is it week 2 already? Second, how is it June? Before we know it we are going to be watching Bachelor in Paradise and I'd bet my dog that Chad will be there unless anyone takes out a restraining order on him first. But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Episode two opens with JoJo gazing out at the scenery on her balcony comparing this to a fairytale, except that she has 20 Prince Charmings to choose from.  The dudes hang out in the living room after brunch and toast mimosas. Chad chants: "to a beautiful girl, a beautiful life, f*** you guys, I'm going to make her my wife." Update: Chad is still an ass.  The first date card arrives! Evan scoops it up and reads, "Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Ali, James F, Wells, Robby: let's heat things up." A flaming limo arrives in the driveway and starts exploding from the heat. I am genuinely concerned that somebody is going to have to be a hero if JoJo is in that lim...