This was my first full week back with the kids since they took off for Turkey three weeks ago. We each had our vacation time and absence made the heart grow fonder. Until I actually walked into their home and immediately remembered why my nerves are shot to pieces when I get back from work everyday.
We had a full week. Sister had a basketball camp Monday through Thursday so I spent a large chunk of my days sitting in the driver's seat fielding statements like "Did you know humans produce X amount of pee a year? Ewwwwww." Thank you, Ripley's Believe It or Not book. Brother and I also had a discussion about spankings. He is of the anti-camp: "My mom and dad believe hitting is not the way to solve problems." Well, it sure solved several of my elementary behavior problems, bud. Maybe a firm tap on the behind would ensure he would never again forget his BRAND NEW SHOES at the pool. He was barefoot the entire drive home and didn't realize until we arrived.
When I wasn't shuttling children back and forth, I was popping chewy grape ibuprofen for the worst cramps ever and supervising pool time. I quickly corrected the kids when they tried to go down the slide on their stomachs. "But Taylor, why can't we go down the slide like this?"
Their question sounded like "But why can't we pet the rabid shark?" or "Why can't we get in the stranger's car?!"
BECAUSE I SAID SO AND YOU'LL INJURE YOURSELF AND THEN YOUR MOM WILL SUE ME.
I introduced Brother to Boggle this week. For some reason, he is unbeatable in Scrabble, but I dominate Boggle every single time. Needless to say, the games have been a lovely ego boost. I doubled his score almost every time. It would have been even more, but I tried to avoid pointing out the vulgar words so I wouldn't have to explain them. I had premonitions of, "Taylor, what's sex?" Enter cold sweat and stammering. I shouldn't have bothered. He picked out tit, tits, and sex all by himself from the jumble of letters. So for the next game I boldly found sext and sexts and fervently hoped he wouldn't question their validity. "No, it's a word...uhh...it means..."
Ah, they keep me young.
A Very Lucky Girl has four (count em FOUR) working days left. RIP paychecks, but hello VACATION.